I believe, saying no is a positive act (you may think otherwise and I hope to change that). I have also tried my best to explain, why you should learn to say no more and include it in your new year resolution.
We tend to overlook the fact that we might just be saying yes to any possible request, every movie plan, job/internship coming our way. Which is a problem, when you don’t want to help that person out, or go out for a dinner or movie plan or comply with any such form of request.
But saying no would be plain rude.You might also feel guilty of turning someone down and you might wonder if they would hold grudge against you for saying no.
So you end up taking the long route by saying, "I will try my best" or "Will surely try and help you" or "Will get back to you, when I get time." and keep them hanging. So you are unintentionally, giving a false hope and then letting them down at the end moment. Which I believe is worse than saying no. Apart from that there are many other reasons on why you should practice the art of saying no...
Taken for granted
Being available every time and helping or complying with your family, friends, colleagues,etc has made them so habituated to your presence that they make the assumption that you will always be around. They ignore the fact that someone out there is taking the efforts taking time out to help them. So if you want to be appreciated then you got to drop the 'no' bomb once in a while.
Valuing your own time
Which means freedom from scheduling your timetable/ Calendar around others.We only got 24 hours to ourselves and if you go on saying yes to every plan or request then you won’t have any time left for your own self. Think of it this way, you will now have more time for yourself that means more time to binge watch on your favorite television shows or do something productive with your time or just take a nap.
Before any one else, it's you who should start taking oneself seriously. You should understand that its your time and you get to decide how to spend it. Don’t go out of your way to help people and get into this whole cycle of you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. Also, saying no only makes you seem as a strong individual; Who has his priorities set right.
Don’t let people walk all over you
Doing good is fine but overdoing is a crime. Set a boundary for yourself regarding the extent to which you will be willing to sacrifice your time or take effort. I have personal experienced many situations where the people; Whom I had helped turned their back against me when I needed them the most. It hurts knowing that you can do so much for a person and they act all insensitive towards you. Such situations have made my resolution to practice saying no more all more strong. I learnt that you should go ahead and help people around but don't expect anything in return because that would be foolish.
Saying no is an art
I believe saying no is an art. A lot of successful people have this ability to turn you down without making you feel sad or miserable. Here is what I do and you should try as well...
1) Inform that you have other things/plans to attend too. Most of all leave a message like, "I understand the situation but there is nothing much I can do. I'm sorry." Or just hear them out and give an alternative idea or suggestion as who else can be a perfect replacement for you.
Note: Don’t get all pumped and head on a no saying spree and reject every request or plan that comes your way. Just be judicious and don’t fall into the guilt trap. You don’t have to give reasons for not helping them or being around. Most of all stop explaining your side. If they truly respect you then they will come around. Stop living in the fear that you will end up alone, if you say no.There is a chance that people will take offence and it will unnecessary sour your relationship.
Caution once you get into the practice of saying no, you got to accept the fact that people will say no to your requests as well. At that moment, you got to be kind and not hold anything against them because they might turn up to be my blog readers :)