Shelly Kelly
Shelly Kelly
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Shelly Kelly
Hi Annie,

Quick question: On chapter 45 —  was Linda one of the foster siblings you had referred to? I have more questions about her, but I think it's best asked via e-mail.

I'm not a mom yet, but one thing I often wonder is how much I should share with my future kids. Should I tell them about my experiences with my own family? Or should I leave that out and let them make their own opinions? My biggest struggle in answering this is that I feel I should tell them, but I don't want them thinking poorly of those people either. Personally, I think it's great that you're sharing your story. I think sharing it can be therapeutic, but I could be wrong as I'm not even in that professional field.

Although I can't speak for your family, I can possibly give you some positive thoughts about your own. I often question my mom's love for me, she's not very lovey-dovey since it's a cultural thing. My husband often tells me that she loves me because he sees signs of it all the time and I know what he means as I tell him the same of his own mother. Just because it might not be in the form that your children may prefer to see your love for them, it doesn't mean that they don't know that you love them. My family is a huge example of that. They don't necessarily show their love in the way that we hope and I would take a guess that that's "normal" if there even is such a thing. I think they will understand and perhaps even more so after reading about your life.

I see some parallel's with your life in my own if you don't mind me saying so. My grandma was an orphan, but recalls her mother bringing home many men when she was just a child. Her mom was an Irish drunk and if memory serves me right, she was also an abusive drunk. Obviously she couldn't take care of my grandma well and eventually was put into an orphanage (she had stories of that too). She eventually got adopted by her cousin who took much better care of her. My grandma now lives in an assisted living place and has lots of grandchildren and great-grandchildren and will be 92 this year. She had 5 kids, only three currently living. The remaining three (particularly my dad) questions her love for him and she loves giving hugs. There's other things that occurred before my birth that has caused him to question her love for him (long story), but I think that as a general rule (not including extreme situations) most people love their children and everyone shows it differently. Since no one is perfect, it's nearly impossible to show your love towards each of your family members in a way that they prefer. I think all that matters is that they know you do and it is said with sincerity. 

I hope this helps- as always, looking forward to the next chapters and thanks for sharing!

Alura