Trump & Hitler

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There have been so many people comparing The Donald Himself to Hitler that we decided to analyze the situation.

ANCESTRY: The Donald Himself is of German Ancestry.  His Father Fred who owned apartment buildings in Queens tried to hide this because many of his tenants were Jewish and this was right after WWII and The Holocaust, so he said his family came from Sweden.  The Donald followed right along with this ruse until the Holocaust and World War II began to fade from memory.  The Donald then admitted his German Ancestry and became the Grand Master of The Bavarian Day Parade.  Hitler is The Grand Master of a whole lot of Parades but he was born in Austria-Hungary, not Germany.  And, he wasn’t German.  But he tried to pretend he was, so he could be a real Aryan and a bona fide member of The Master race.  Hitler invented the Holocaust.

Hitler’s father was born out of wedlock so his father was a bastard.  Being Landlords, both The Donald Himself and his father Fred have been referred to many times, as bastards.

The Jewish connection.  Hitler’s grandfather Leopold Frankenberger who was Jewish had an affair with the maid who was Hitler’s grandmother and it produced little Alois, Hitler’s Daddy.  The Nazi’s tried to discredit this but it seems to be true.  The Donald’s daughter Ivanka married Greg Hirsch and he’s Jewish.  The Donald’s grand baby, will be Jewish.

EDUCATION:  Both Hitler and The Donald had trouble in grade school.  The Donald it seems was a bad boy.  He got into a lot of fights and at age 13 his father has to take him out of the prestigious Kew-Forest Academy and enroll him in the New York Military Academy.  Hitler flunks all his exams and is expelled at age 15.  Hitler then applies to Art School and is turned down, end of story.  The Donald goes on to Fordham University and The Wharton School of business.  The Donald seems to have been an A student.  This part of the comparison is not working out so hot.

MILITARY EXPERICENCE: Hitler joins the Bavarian Army in WWI.  He is wounded in action and gassed.  He is awarded the Iron Cross, twice.  He is promoted to Corporal.  The Donald Himself goes to the New York Military Academy and attains the rank of Captain but it’s only a school.  The Donald gets a couple of draft deferments and finally a high number in the draft lottery.  He’s never in the real Military and never serves his country.

MASS MEDIA: Both The Donald and Hitler take advantage of the Mass Media.  Of course there is no TV back in the 1920’s and 30’s when Hitler is making his run, so he gives live speeches in front of thousands and tens of thousands of Germans and they can be heard on the radio.  His trademark saying is.  “Heil Hitler!”  The Donald of course uses TV shows like ‘Miss Universe’ and the show he hosts ‘The Apprentice’.  His trademark saying is.  “You’re fired.”

EMPLOYMENT HISTORY: Hitler never has a job.  The Donald after graduating from The Wharton School goes to work for Elizabeth Trump and Company.  It’s his Daddy’s business.  He never has a job either.

BOOKS: Both pen memoirs.  For Hitler it’s ‘Mein Kempf’ which means My Struggle.  For The Donald Himself it’s ‘The Art of the Deal’ which means The Art of the Deal.

NICK NAMES: Donald Trump’s “The Donald”.  Adolph Hitler’s “The Furher”.

BIGGEST FAILURES: For Hitler it’s The Beer Hall Putsch and losing WWII.  The Donald goes bankrupt 4 times.

REAL ESTATE:  The Trump Organization has buildings, hotels, casinos and golf courses all over the world.  Their worth is estimated at 3.5 billion.  Hitler takes Poland, France, the Sudetenland, Hungary, Austria, Czech, Scandinavia, Greece, parts of Africa and Russia.  Estimates of their worth are impossible to calculate.  Let’s just say, priceless.  Hitler tries but fails to take England.  The Donald owns a golf course in Scotland, which of course is in England.

PERSONAL HISTORY: The Donald has three wives and five kids.  Hitler marries once and it doesn’t last too long.  He commits suicide a few hours later.  There’s no Honeymoon.  He has no children.

Oh well we admit that some of these comparisons didn’t work out so hot but others were right on the money.  We also hate this expression because it belongs to another news organization but we guess this is a case of, we report and you decide.

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