What is it they say, Fail to prepare prepare to fail. I thought I'd share my epic radio fail
Going Radio Ga Ga
For my day job I had to do a radio interview the other morning. Setting aside the usual jokes about me being a good choice because I have a great face for radio. I was feeling pretty confident about the experience. After all it's just talking isn't it, how difficult can that be? I talk all day long. I thought it's chit chat mostly but definitely talking. So me and the reporter have a bit of a run through . The reporter gives me an idea on the questions and I answer appropriately. Great he says, I feel like a natural. Bring it on I think, until he tells me we are about to go live. And all of a sudden my mouth turns to sand paper. I need a drink, I look around frantically but there's no time.
He asks me the first question but he might as well have fired a starting gun. I was off and motoring, of the mouth variety. If this had been Mastermind I would be answering questions on my specialist subject. and yet I was cocking up the answer. The worst of it was I knew I was doing it. It was like I was driving on ice I was all over the show. Please stop I thought, let's start again. But this was live radio, so no second chances. And yet still worse was to come, when the follow up question came. It should have been another home run opportunity, but where my answer came from I don't know. He asked, something like How's business — I replied 'Phenomenal'???? Phenomenal! who says the 'Phe' word apart from dodgy Spanish football managers like Roberto Martinez, and I cringe every time I hear him say it. They say when your dieing you see your life pass before you. I can now report that when your dieing on the radio, what you see is your future career in broadcasting sailing over the horizon. I had a multiple internal conversation going on. There was the one that was making the sounds and being broadcast to the world. The other was was the voice telling me to get my act together.
I can be the biggest bitch on the block when I see or hear a bad performance on TV or radio. I delight in being an arm chair critic. The words awful and rubbish are amongst my more constructive comments. But no more, those days are gone. Having suffered my own vocal meltdown , I can no longer be the one to throw the first stone. Some critics say about the pundits on match of the day, that they shouldn't really pass their opinions if they haven't done it at the highest level. And I now fall into the Kevin Killbane Peter Beagerie on a bad day category of the radio.
Of my own performance , the reporter was complimentary at the end, 'That was great' he said but my internal voice was telling me he probably says that to all his interviewee's.
Reliving my radio nightmare, is now becoming a regular occurrence, little shudder inducing flashbacks at unsuspecting moments. I have unsurprisingly realised that before I can walk the broadcasting walk again, I need to learn to talk the radio talk. And like they say I need to metaphorically get back on that bike. I'm down but I'm not out. And be assured next time I'm asked to be on radio I will be phenomenal.