I tell of the story and it's importance...

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Understanding not so good mental health from a very personal perspective

I talk of the story and its importance

I love the narrative and its twists and turns

But   I know now that it is one thing to love the tale

But altogether another to give the teller room to

Share all.

 

Such is my enthusiasm and desire to normalise and minimise and

To help people not feel guilty about their madness

That I forget that the important thing isn’t so much the ending or the outcome

Or my own wisdom and insight

But the telling itself.

 

So eager to want people to rush onto the road to recover

I know now that I put my fingers in my ears and don’t actually hear

Their fear, their anger, their humiliation.

 

I know now why.

More than once I have stood on the brink of hospitalisation.

My own madness digging its claws in ever deeper

 

The journey of others could well be mine. And it frightens me.

 

Will always frighten me.

 

 

So busy giving answers I lose sight of the need to explore the meaning

Of madness.

The whys, whatfors and maybes.

The deeper meaning.

The ancient and primal and spiritual meanings.

The meanings that have healed and sufficed for eons

Long before the asylum and the shock treatment and the

Psychiatrist asserted their influence.

 

 

So determined am i to heal people

That i forget that it is the people themselves who

Heal themselves.

 

And how do they that.

 

By sharing safely

Theorising wildly

By venting their anger and frustration

And knowing that the experience of madness is life changing.

 

 

In the midst of manic episodic table top dancing

In full voice with the fairies of protection all around you

 

Recovery is not on the aggenda.

 

Surivivng and understanding and enduring are.

 

When your head is racing and   your mind is temporarily occupied with matters of insanity

Something occurs deep within

 

Who am I?

Why am I here?

Will my world ever be the same?

Will I be able to face all the tomorrows I once held so dear.

What are they looking at me like that.

 

It is here that the story and telling begins.

 

It is in this moment that all that is profound and wise takes shape.

 

It is the living and feeling of every mad moment.

 

It is embracing the loss of control.

 

The emptiness.

 

It is diving into the void and wanting to belive that life will go on.

 

So busy   am I formulating plans of recovery and rehabilitaion

 

And trying to sound knowledgable and accepting

 

That I forget that I still have much to learn.

 

And the answer I have arrived at.

 

 

Dont lose sight of the importance of the whole story.

 

Dont try to skip chapters in peoples lives.

 

Because it is only when the full story has been told

 

That the re telling can begin.

 

 

And what does it take.

 

Not much.

 

Being a good listener and keeping your own fears

 

In perspective.

 

I talk of the story and its importance

I love the narrative and its twists and turns

But   I know now that it is one thing to love the tale

But altogether another to give the teller room to

Share all.

 

 

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