Man Talk — Viva La ManoPorsche



I'm now at that age when the world is my oyster and i'm free to unleash my inner Walter Mitty.


I'm now at an age now were you could say the worlds my oyster, and those Sunday morning travelogues that fill most of the newspapers are taking on a new significance for me. The flights of fancy and tales of adventure that where once so out of reach now seem so much more achievable. I bet I'm not the only one who has a recurring Walter Mitty fantasy of being the one who says to Bear Grills 'Come on son, I'll show you how it's done' I watch his boy's own adventures and a little voice inside me is saying 'I want to do this'

It's like you get to a certain age and a whole new area of your brain opens up. It's a fantastical portal that gives you the belief that anything is now possible. 'Yes you can' survive on a desert Island or 'yes I Have' the stamina to cut it in the SAS. You discover your own personal Dorian Grey mirror that only reflects your younger self. It has the knack of being able to kid you on that, anything is possible for a man like you. It whispers it's sirens call that you now truly believe, that age is just a number. And if you want too you could still do it all.

The experts may say that I am displaying early sign of a mid life crisis. Dubbed these days as the 'Menoporshce' — it's a millennial
Way of describing a modern day dilemma common in men in their fifties. These are the men that flock to Ibiza every summer and want to go trecking up Kilimanjaro. Every week the stats are changing but currently it probably being put about in the trendy glossies that sixty is the new thirty. I like to think of myself as being eternally twenty seven but with the life skills of a man thirty years senior.

An example of retro living that midlife dream happened the other night, when out for dinner ( note it's not a pint anymore) . My friend and I started discussing the new channel 4 show 'Hunted' where teams go on the run, trying to avoid being captured by experts in surveillance and other associated tracking skills. Should they manage to stay undiscovered for 28 days in this countrywide version of hide and seek, then their prize would be a share of £100,00. My friend slightly older physically but mentally still In his teens. Confidently claimed that he would be able to take himself off the radar no problem, and volunteered to prove it by applying to be in the next series. He then spent a great deal of the evening devising his escape route and evasion tactics. None of which I am prepared to divulge in this column in case they are ever drawn into play. Surfice to say that he has his plan, and is now ready at a moments notice to up sticks and get off. This conversation then led onto other flights of mid life fantasy from buying a Winnebago and going to Glastonbury. To knowing a man in America who can get us a Vintage Ford Mustang and could ship it over to England. From where we would set off on a road trip in said vehicle to Spain.

It seems like sporty Cars and driving long distances are no longer just a pipe dream for the older man. Nothing is of limits. Like Benjamin Button, regression is the the thing. As an example I saw what looked like scene from Quadraphenia the other day a parade of about forty or fifty scooters where lined up outside a local pub.their owners stood around chatting, dressed in full mod regalia. From the regulation parka to sharp suit and ties These 60's throwbacks where living their own particular retro dream. But these were no young copycat wannabes these were the originals mostly in their late forties and beyond. They dressed like it was 1965 and had just stopped off on their way to Brighton for a tear up on the beach with the rockers. Living proof that retro could become a reality. They all looked so happy I was reminded of something I once heard said. Never let your body grow into an old person.

I have to say that I wished I was one of them. But then I was reminded of my new favourite mantra 'YesI Can' As with most things these days I've realised that anything is possible, it's only a question of how much I want it. But as a man with the world at his fingertips I have to prioritise.

So much to do so little time to do
It. I am of course still finalising my own escape plans should I decide to join my friend for the next series of Hunted. And Bear Grills The Island is a tempting option I'm sure I could crack if I work on My fitness regime I think basic SAS fitness requirements should be achievable. it was And of course their's the drive to Spain to fit in. And the Glasto tickets. All these mid life adventures need to be recorded, so theirs my book to write.. I've already got plans for who's going to star in the movie version.

So you see joining the Mod army is just going to have to go on the back burner for now. But I am content in the knowledge that when I do find the time, to quote the words from The classic Jasper Carrott song 'Funky Moped'. When I get me moped out on the road I'm going to ride ride 'La Menaporche'


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