about Pattaya, that extreme city in Thailand, & about pop promoting it as wonderland, about me too, writing "Great Tits I've Known"
“Let’s Go Pattaya” / “Living in a Pattaya Wonderland”
“So in love together”
December the 18th 2016 Barry Upton turned up at the Pattaya Expats Club with a Wimbledon Common womble and he serenaded everyone with Christmas carols. I shook hands with the guy but that was about it. During my talk on the novel, my novel, “Collected Selected Words”, soon to be republished as “Great Tits I’ve Known”, he closed his eyes then opened them a bit when I mentioned “One night in Bangkok and the world’s your oyster…”. The event was remarkable for me only because it made me feel so old and reinforced my sinful aversion to the world of pop (such great tits!). I did try to get on Barry’s side by mentioning that pop artists are interested in words because lyrics and their music go hand in hand. Did he nod briefly? I think so. However, the man was immersed in the man.
I know a Danish photographer who loves appearances and only yesterday he told me that Barry is famous. I tried out my old theory that famous people don’t live in Pattaya. They are successes back home. The photographer and I then agreed that Barry and others like him were here for those reasons that need no going into – Land of Smiles, Fun City, Sin City, the Extreme City, LCD City…You name it, we can call it. Yes, like the Grim Reaper himself who respects no title and no privilege, Pattaya scythes away and its only love is that lowest common denominator – money. We are all in love with money here, and like everywhere else (but especially here) money can buy you anything especially sex, a young bird on your arm forever or just for the length of your sensational holiday!
Well, with such strange thoughts for Christmas 2016 and with the new- year celebrations just round the corner, I thought I’d better do my homework – on the Wombles of Wimbledon and on Barry Upton, too, of course. YouTube is a great educator in these matters. First, the Wombles…They were dancing on green swathe (in Wimbledon) dressed funnily and singing a catchy tune. Well, I thought, I feel even older now. I ploughed on and YouTubed Barry, and there he was looking well and handsome in the middle of Walking Street singing “Pattaya Wonderland”. I obviously thought to myself, na son chai – interesting.
So, this morning I’ve learnt another golden rule which I already knew, anyway. The Danish photographer told me The Sun knows how to pull the punters, and pop stars do, too. The Wombles, dressed for the occasion, had very catchy tunes to pull the punters, and Barry Upton sings of a Pattaya of love, friendship, sunshine, smiles, wonderful wonder while Walking Street dances.
Think positive. Be positive. Don’t get old. Don’t get disillusioned.
Well done to the world of pop!
But I have to remember I’m the guy who wrote towards the end of that novel to be republished with its new title “Great Tits I’ve Known” :
“Delusional glory shakes a tambourine.”
and I recall exactly why I wrote that glory is delusional (especially here in Pattaya) and why I chose Dylan’s and music’s tambourine, but today I’ll highlight those words "Delusional glory...." with my wombling mouse, I’ll hit “ctrl / x” simultaneously on my computer, and I’ll live in Pattaya’s Wonderland.
How very wonderful!
Is this an empty vessel or am I just being uncharitable again?