"Balance"

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An LGBT based social commentary about finding, or rather creating more balance in the world, rather than striving for the "perfect world".

"A transgender sister of mine was asking me the other day, "Don't you wish that we lived in a perfect world, where people openly accepted us without question?", to which my reply was a dry, emotionless "no".

Obviously stunned, there was a long silence over the phone, before she finally spoke up; "What do you mean, "NO"?!", she asked rather annoyed. When I explained my reasons for such an answer — which I will share with you shortly — it gave her a whole new insight and understanding as to my answer.

First of all, exactly what is this thing that we call "perfect"? Well, one of Webster's definitions is as follows; "having no mistakes or flaws"


Hmmmmmmmm....let's break that down for just a moment. "Having no mistakes or flaws". Have you EVER seen a person, place, thing, event etc., that was "perfect", or "flawless"? I certainly haven't. Whenever somebody buys a new car and they proudly exclaim, "I purchased the PERFECT car today!", they are so wrong. They may have bought a "reliable" car. They may have a "dependable" car. They may have a "luxurious" car. But no car is "perfect"! (Although the 1958-62 Chevy Corvettes, and the 1968-72 Olds 442 convertibles come pretty damn close in my opinion!). Some folks love attending outdoor concerts and events (like me!), and everything seems perfect at those events — that is until we start getting sunburned, bitten by ants and mosquitoes, or getting our feet stepped on by other people, then we begin to realize that the "perfect event" is anything but!

And when was the last time that you ever saw the "perfect relationship"?? I have seen many relationships that were as far from perfect, as what some politicians' brains are from common sense! Personally speaking, I've been in two very abusive relationships, where I was the proverbial "punching bag" — yet to the outside world both relationships seemed perfect. If only they could have seen what went on behind closed doors. And just look at how often cheating has become an issue in relationships! Do either of those scenarios sound like a "perfect relationship" to you?!

And besides, this whole "perfect world" concept is absolutely full of holes, simply because each person's idea of perfection is so vastly different. My idea of a perfect world is simple;  a beautiful woman —  an honest relationship that we may build together —  and a lifetime of snuggling in each others' arms — as you can see, nothing fancy. On the other hand, there are other people whose "perfect world" concept, would have absolutely no room for LGBTs. Seeing that if each person is striving for "perfection", and both people have completely polarizing ideas, then how could they both possibly exist in the same "perfect" place? Realistically speaking they couldn't. There are people that believe the planet should be destroyed, and everybody on it — that's their idea of perfection. Now the perfect world shtick doesn't sound like such a keen idea anymore, does it?

What we need in this world isn't perfection, but rather balance. We need to learn that for every negative person, for every negative experience, for every negative, hurtful word that has ever been spoken, there is an equal amount of positiveness in other people, words, and situations. We must understand conflict and war, if we are to ever have any true understanding and appreciation of peace. We must experience the mortal loss of someone close to us, in order to more fully appreciate and understand life. We must occasionally endure the hatred of others, before we can find the right person that will love us unconditionally for our true selves. We must always have a "Ying", to compliment our "Yang"....we must always strive for a universal, cosmic balance in our world. And no, it's not perfection, but it's something that we could, and should start learning to work with. It will certainly make things better in the long run if we do"

 

(Victoria "Vicki" Llewellyn, is a writer/poet, nurse, lesbian, male to female transsexual, and LGBT advocate, living in the Portland, Oregon area)

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