When I stand still in the early morning of a new day, I close my eyes and hear the moving earth. The sound feels like home and my mind let’s go of all thought. As I take in my surroundings, the stillness of the fresh morning air gives me new life in the sense that, at this particular moment, I feel different, I feel somewhat connected to a greater truth, a truth that I will probably never know.
Somewhere in my life I forgot how to live. To enjoy each day as it is, and take in every moment that your alive with people you love or care about, even the people that annoy you. Truth be told, it can get exhausting to constantly look at the world in wonder when your life seems to be constantly moving toward the future, with little emphasis on the NOW.
I feel like in this day of age were constantly reminded of things we don’t have, compared to things we DO have.
If I were smarter, prettier, richer, friendlier, would that make a difference? If I turned that way rather than the other way, would I get anywhere? I think the real answer lies within you. And, what does that mean exactly? I don’t really know. We can search all our lives for a CERTAIN THING, whether it’s love, or wealth, or discovering oneself, or being famous, or creating a family. It’s not hard to see that humans tend to reach beyond their environment, or what they’re born into. To discover something beyond one’s own fixed thoughts and taught ideology, is, or seems to be, a human trait.
WE WANT MORE! The solution is simple enough, logical enough, easy enough, yet we always seem to hold ourselves back from what we really want. Most times—we make ourselves follow the lines. It doesn’t really matter what path you choose, or what you label yourself as: a famous actor, a well-know surgeon, a daring journalist, or a busy office assistant…there are unspoken rules that are followed.
To make a difference, to change the world, to help humanity, or to simply do what you love, is a matter of choice, and of opportunity. We throw ourselves into the fire of the unknowing, and feed it until some sort of satisfaction is met. What we crave is contentment. We want to feel satisfied, and we want something that will save us from all the questions that we consciously ask ourselves about life. Something that will save us from ourselves.
When did life start to become so complicated and stressful? One minute I’m playing in the backyard jumping off six foot fences—playing in the mud, and the next thing I know, I’m a twenty-five year old jobless woman with a bachelor’s degree in English, full of dreams and aspirations, but too familiar with the harsh realities of the world…which scares me. It scares me so much that I can hardly stand it. But I’m willing to fight, and I’m willing to hope. I may be hesitant to take that first step but somewhere inside of me I know...I have to know...that I will find what I’m looking for.