Here was an article I wrote for "Scary Mommy" but it was never published.
Life as a parent can at times be spontaneous and wonderful. But sometimes it can be hard to endure when other life events start to throw stuff in your face. When you feel like things are about to go right for you and your family, here come the obstacle of life and it crushes you in the face.
No, life is never easy and I won’t lie and say it will get better overnight, but what I can say is you and your family can make it through the unexpected situations; you can come out stronger than ever and better equipped for the storms that will inevitably come your way in the future.
Here are some 10 ways I’ve live through my wild life circumstances and how it’s made me a better person.
Trust- I have to trust that my family will get out of any rut that we tend to be in. It just has to take some time and I have to trust within myself and my partner that we can survive this…and we will.
Change your plans- Instead of waiting for my books to do well and bring in money or waiting for job opportunity to fall in my lap; I have to look for some concrete way of finding these jobs myself so I can work for home to bring in income. Instead of promoting my writing one way, change up my action plan and look through new ways I can challenge myself to become a better and more efficient writer.
Meditate- I have to have more time to breathe and reflect on my inner spirituality. I listen to some quite music and I take this time to reflect on the positive of my life and the hardships that I try to overcome. I also take this time to focus on my breathing and try to quite my most active mind.
Be patient- Know that “life will find a way”. Sometimes it may take weeks or months before something gets better. It took me awhile to understand that in life and with a large family, you have to gather patients in order for you to achieve your goals and dreams. Just be patient and watch your whole life turn around.
Be positive- the best way for me to keep a positive attitude and mind set, even though I may not feel like it, is to ask myself positive and gratitude questions.... "What could you be grateful for and positive about right now if you really wanted to?” That’s the one question i ask myself. Start changing your thought process and how you view a situation and your life and family life will soon follow suit to positivity.
Stop focusing on the stressors- Many times during the course of my day, things go exactly the way I want it to go. Yet, when something doesn't go according to plan, I get extremely upset. It's so easy for me to get preoccupied with the problems in my life. But in reality, however, the things that go right significantly outnumber the things that go wrong. It's so hard to see it that way sometimes because the problems I have become this unbearable weight that I feel like I’m not equipped to carry. But really in the end my circumstances cannot control me as long as I choose constant inner happiness; regardless of what’s happening on the outside of my family’s life.
Live in the now-No matter how much I think about it, dream about it, or sweat over it, the past is over... When I have faced the facts, it can no longer hurt me. I’m trying to live in moment and cherish all the time I have with my family and stop worrying about what happened yesterday.
Just go with it- Sometimes the reason the situation I had perfectly planned out went left instead of right is that the universe had other plans for me. I’ve learned to just go with the flow and my memories with my family were truly unforgettable. Some problems are just out of my control, and there's not much else we I could do except adapt and figure out how to move on!
Have some faith-There were definitely moments when I didn’t know what was coming next. But throughout it all, I kept moving ahead in my life, things started to clear up in the end. I kept the faith, and know that I will reach where I wanted to be.
Turn my mess into your message- I know it's hard to see it this way right now, but the pain you are going through is temporary. When you get out of this tunnel of your life (or even while you are in it), your story will inspire other people who are going through hard times themselves. Losing my apartment and being homeless with three kids was the toughest two years of my family’s life, but I have used my experience to try and help others walk through there tough times and have them see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Every little part of the journey in your families’ life is beautiful, no matter how precious or even how unfortunate it may see. You can live above and beyond any circumstance because you are strong; you have willpower, and you are dang well worth it!