“Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens whe...
“Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is... The only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.” — Dan Millman
Let Go of Suffering
Resistance is a stone wall which overshadows our best intentions to thrive and prosper.
We resist how life should unfold because we get caught up in a mental and emotional battle to make sense of reality.
What if there’s another way?
What if you don’t need to suffer when life doesn’t go according to plan?
What if instead of waging battle against the currents of life, you went along with it?
Allow me to expand on these statements.
In his book When Everything Changes, Change Everything, author Neale Donald Walsch affirms life is really our soul’s calling towards its own discovery. Untoward events serve to reveal our deepest wisdom.
To the inexperienced, a speeding ticket or a relationship ending is perceived as an unfortunate event. To the awakened, it is a call to venture into the unknown where life precedes of its own accord.
You are not born to live a mundane life fuelled with troubles — you have choice and freedom. There is limited control how the forces of life act upon us. Yet we can choose our response which ultimately shapes our life.
Uninvited circumstances persist until you acquire the lesson or change your response to it.
It was the late Dr. Wayne Dyer who said, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at, begin to change.”
There is power in choosing one's reaction to events instead of being a victim.
As you know, victims never heal.
“What you RESIST, PERSISTS. If you take ownership and deal with things that are bothering you, then, in the very process of dealing with them they very often will go away.” – Anonymous
The Observer Effect
I am reminded of the passage, a watched pot never boils. Derived from the quantum physics phenomenon called the Observer Effect, it refers to changes observing has on that being watched.
In quantum mechanics, an electron changes it location when observed.
Translated, when we perceive something undesirable, at a quantum level the unfavourable event is manifested due to our observation. The act of witnessing disallows electrons to move freely, thus impeding the flow of universal intelligence.
Life events are not deemed good or bad. If you receive a speeding ticket for reckless driving and are troubled by it, changing your behaviour is enough for a shift in consciousness.
Another useful analogy showing the Observer Effect states, if a trees falls in the forest, does it make a sound? If a person is nearby to witness it, yes as it is registered by his or her nervous system.
My intention is to clarify that observing is a powerful phenomenon bound by the laws of physics. Spirituality proposes when you are attached to an outcome, it impedes creation.
Therefore, detachment should be a spiritual goal for every individual. Detachment refers to surrendering the need for an expected outcome since this is the domain of universal intelligence.
Author and speaker Byron Katie, the creator of the powerful self-discovery program, The Work offers the insight that reality always trumps our inner state.
You cannot alter or change reality once it shows up. So if your husband forgets to take out the garbage despite your fervent reminders, then reality trumps your will. Feeling anger towards him is less likely to change his behaviour since you are the one who suffers.
Changing your thoughts however, allows you to let go of resistance to what is and allow what could be.
Transform Your Resistance
Opposing what is invites more of the same energy. When you face the experience, you allow it to move through you like an empty cloud. In time you appreciate thoughts and emotions are limited in their control over you.
Often, experiences repeat themselves until the lesson is gained. It does this by challenging you with circumstances beyond your comfort zone — thus allowing your consciousness to expand.
Give up your resistance to life by allowing it to move through you. Life need not happen to you.
Suspend labelling experiences as good or bad until the whole picture has emerged. There is always a hidden lesson contained within an experience – even the most challenging ones.
Dealing with discomfort and pain is confronting, although life is cyclical and everything must come to an end, even pain.
Instead of running away from your emotions, lean into them and experience them fully. This transforms your fears and anxiety into empowering emotions.
Let go of what you believe life owes you.
It owes you nothing since you are the expression of life.
Rise to your challenges armed with courage and an open mind. Remain confident that your experiences are serving your personal growth.
You are invited to honour the process of life since everything which unfolds does so in perfect order.