Success and Failure

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"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm." ~Winston Churchill Whether your version of success is being aligned with your dreams or just plain making a lot of money, I believe this quote to be true. Well, almost.

"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm."

~Winston Churchill

Whether your version of success is being aligned with your dreams or just plain making a lot of money, I believe this quote to be true.  Well, almost. I think you can lose your enthusiasm but you have to eventually get it back. To sound even more cliche-ish...Don't give up (even after you've failed)! Regardless of how many times you get kicked down, feel free to stay down, but eventually get back up again. And do it all over again. Eventually you will get very good at it and the getting back up again part won't be so hard.

So maybe some of you grew up being told by your parents "It's ok, keep going anyway." Or "let's celebrate your mistakes...you're on the path to success!" Or "You tried and failed 100 times...get back up and try one more time. You're strong enough! You can do it!" Anyone? *crickets chirping*

Ok, then. Now that we're on the same page, failure always equaled fear in my household. There was of course the fear around trying something new, saying something new, or experimenting. Then the failure happened. Then the punishment for failing. If I made a mistake, I got spanked, humiliated, criticized, judged, yelled out, or laughed at depending on the day. And I wouldn't have called my childhood abusive. 

 

I recently saw a brief interview with the owner of Spanks. She talked about how mistakes were celebrated in her household growing up.  She and her family would sit around the dinner table and talk about their failures of the day, and there would be a celebratory atmosphere around these mishaps. An environment was created where failure was not only acceptable but celebrated!

But if you grew up like me, you know that it's time to think differently about failure. Failure and fear of punishment can not continue to be the way of thinking. Because your failures during childhood created fear instead of determination, you have to CHANGE YOUR MINDSET and PARENT YOURSELF differently.  Create a safe space in your home where you can relax, cry, and heal yourself from the pain and fear of failure. Create healthy routines and rituals that are fun, predictable and relaxing. Surround yourself with positive and successful people, who know exactly how it feels to fail 100 times and succeed once. Here are some suggestions for ways to better handle failure:

-Play a musical instrument or sing weekly. Listen to your favorite music as much as humanly possible each day!

-Do multiple small relaxation activities daily (breathing exercises)

-Learn to cook simple, healthy meals and prepare raw foods that you love weekly

-Watch funny movies, listen to funny podcasts or go see standup comedians. Laugh as much as humanly possible each day!

-Learn to laugh at yourself!!

And after you've implemented routines in your life that help you handle failure, you'll find that failure doesn't really have that sharp of an edge. It might even, dare I say, challenge you just enough to FUEL YOUR FIRE FOR MORE!

 

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