President Putin WRITES AGAIN



Vladimir Putin, known as Vlad the Anabolic Steroid Inhaler or simply Brilliant Genius of Humanity (said nobody, ever) WRITES AGAIN.

Double Блядь! Where’s SMERSH when you need it? Yesterday, another attempt by the Yankees to make me look like the bad guy; the CIA claiming li’l old Pootie-Poot rigged the US election to guarantee a win for the incompetent Donald Trump of Doom. Outrageous! What possible motive might I have for gerrymandering the result in favour of the most hated man in the world, other than to destabilize the West and blame any future military offensive on the strain of communicating with an orangutan? Unthinkable! And what then, fascists?! Russian global economic, military and cultural dominance?! Come now, things have changed somewhat since Uncle Joey and the Eastern bloc; the days of empire-building are over…fairly soon, once the Kerch bridge is finished. You know, it feels as though I am misunderstood no matter what…I come up with the idea of a free Burner laptop and crash course in Python for all our English-speaking EMOs and suddenly I’m blamed for their hacking into John Podesta’s email account?! Oh well, it is I suppose my struggle, as someone once said. As it happens, the election result was the right one for the Motherland. Someone more worried about getting a decent night’s sleep at Mar-a-Lago than 2000 murdered civilians in the Donbass or the unethical treatment of the Chechens is just what the doctor ordered; after all, what’s the point of lingering on things that can’t be changed, or authenticated. These days Russia looks to the future, its future, and if that means helping pro-Russian rebels in places other than the Ukraine such as Poland, Denmark, Belgium, or Chelsea, then so be it. Trump the Gump minds his own business while I manoeuvre Westwards…Joke! I meant in a socio-economic way.


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