Where do bad bosses perfect their art? Bad Boss Convention
Where do all the miserable bosses go?
To learn what only the most miserable know?
How to perfect the art of self-promotion,
Ignore fact and reason, and rule by emotion?
They gather each year, this executive retreat,
The insecure and angry, the proud and effete,
To swap stories and tactics, to practice their sneer,
Learn the latest advances in ruling by fear,
They credit this place for their corporate ascension,
Offsite for the Lonely, Bad Boss Convention,
Arriving from youths marked by wedgies and scorn,
This new type of business leader was born,
Who once sought attention but felt only neglect,
But took note of each slight or clear lack of respect,
They studied and schemed and prepared for the day,
When it was their turn to rule, and others would pay,
They each shared their tales to a roomful of cheers,
“I made him tremble and shake in front of his peers!”
With each story of terror their hardened hearts soared,
They commended each other, their laughter just roared,
They gobbled down steaks and gulped crates of fine wine,
They puffed on cigars beneath the “No Smoking” sign,
And when it was over they said their goodbyes,
“Motivate staff with truths! Short of that, use some lies!
But set aside funds to come back next year, old friend,
Even if you take from staff bonus pool at year end!”