Struggles

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Depression...

As midnight awakens, I shed my tears

Afraid of my thoughts

Am my own worst fear?

The struggle to understand 

The pain I feel

Wishing and hoping this is not real

Am I breaking--no--I'm so confused 

Is my heart to broken 

Is it too abused 

The curse it is too love to easy

Yet scared that I hurt more easy 

I love hard, my fears take over

I start anew, and I mess it all over 

The tears of pain, I wish would ease

But it's my only sweet release 

Not knowing how to be the right lover

Always pushing my friend out further 

Yet I fight and I struggle 

To keep my humanity intact

But I hurt too much to be exact 

The writer, the lover 

The unknown, the unseen 

Wishing it wasn't too hard to be NORMAL 

Barely feel human, can't sleep at night 

Staring into the flame besides my head 

As I think about how I wish to be dead 

The struggle is hard

To familiar, too real 

Will I ever teach myself how to feel

Hoping to become a better girl 

Who can see her way through this painful world.

 

 

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