Between knowing and not knowing

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Language warning.

What to do 

when one does not

know oneself?

 

Ransack the house,

overturn furniture,

shred documents,

tear clothes.

Burn that fucker down if you have to.

The answer must be found.

 

What to do 

when one does not know

how one feels?

 

Stare hard into the mirror,

daring that motherfucker

to say something, anything.

Induce vomiting.

Bring it on!

Spit it out, you cunt.

I know you're fucking in there.

Gouge my heart out of my chest

and hold it beating and bleeding

in my clenched fist.

Squeeze that little bitch

until it talks.

Come to me.

I am waiting.

 

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