The Office Farter



Many office behaviors are forgiven, but not office farting

You might pick your nose, you might compromise trust,

Keep grabbing your manhood, scratch and readjust,

Your work might be kindly described as inept,

But these are things your colleagues can learn to accept,

For one rule governs all, it’s learned from the start,  

Swift judgement awaits those who release office farts,

Happy faces in shared spaces can quickly turn,

To scowls when drifting fouls is what they discern,

Want to see your calm co-worker become hostile?

Let your flatulence flow freely into their nostril,

Two colleagues grab coffee, their banter carefree,

They freeze, thinking “wow. Does she think that was me?!”

“Because I think that was her, and that’s SO rude,

Um, do you think that someone is cooking strange food?”

An awkwardness descends, eyes dart from red faces,

You can’t look guilty when there is still backdraft traces,

As the odor dissipates the crowd becomes calmer,

But still determined to find out who launched that bomber,

There are rules in the office, someone went astray,

Bet it was Tim who drinks 6 coffees a day,

He might be the reason our office air isn’t clean,

For now could someone suggest he lay off the caffeine?

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