A Seine Gesture

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ill-fated love affair to end in a planned tragedy

 

This burden is heavy and far more intense

and threatens to topple my line of defense.

But it’s my decision.  If I keep my nerve,

she’ll get everything I feel she deserves.

She stands in the doorway. I see her glance back.

She raises a finger, but I don't react.

I think I'm well-hidden, immersed in the crowd.

As my heartbeats quicken, I can't call out loud.

I dated that woman for over two years

and we'd gotten friendly without any tears.

As I look just past her through the lifting mist,

I reminisce fondly of our first french kiss.

We knew the Iron Lady was swaying that day,

but rode to the top in the usual way.

The tower stamps proudly this City of Love

and that is where we'd shared the things we dreamed of.

Expressing affections, meshed under the stars,

we fastened our lock on the bridge Pont Des Arts.

We shared many secrets and intimate dreams.

I'm not running scared, though, if that's what it seems.

Her visions were flawless except one detail.

I know with me in them, she's likely to fail.

My yearly appointment had caught me off-guard

and sharing the news was increasingly hard.

I more than supported the choices she made,

and I would have loved to be now less afraid.

My secret was hidden so nobody knew -

except for the doctor, oh, and the nurse, too.

My follow-up visit today was bad news

so I'm only doing what I have to do.

The past and the present have now merged as one

as I try to justify things that I've done.

I've put things in order.  I've set her up well

and she'll know I loved her.  Just swear not to tell.

I can prevent heartache.  Achieving her goals

is much more important than destiny's tolls.

I won't be her burden nor stifle her fate.

I'll face my decision at the pearly gate.

A simple misstep while observing the Seine

will end this dilemma.  My loss is her gain.

Don’t judge me as foolish.  Her future’s secure

and this is my plausible way to endure.

I'll fall from the tower.  That's how I will go;

with no one the wiser, except you, I know.

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