“Bo Peep, you’re in charge now.  We’re taking the large cow

to market.  We’ll be back tonight!”

Stern words from her father, but she didn’t bother;

just figured things would turn out right.

In three hours, she’d wake up, then dab on fresh makeup

and water the sheep in the pen.

Plus, laundry and dishes, but her secret wish is

to surely be done before then.

The phone started ringing, but her heart was singing.

On purpose, she’d never been rude.

So over her shoulders dropped her boulder holders.

She always napped best in the nude.

Well, four hours later with nothing to wake her,

she fell out of bed to the floor.

She checked her alarm clock then put on two warm socks

and ran out the wooden front door.

And just as expected, she quickly detected

the sheep had escaped while she slept.

Bo started the laundry, but, still in a quandry,

she grabbed her huge wood hook and left.

She’d dressed in a hurry with no time to worry

if her hair or face was a mess.

But Bo was a cutie and most would say beauty

with large cleavage stretching her dress.

She ran down the roadway and then asked a toad, “Hey,

have you seen a small herd of sheep?”

“Croak!” said the toad, shyly, then thwip, ate a fly.  He

was hungry, then made not a peep.

Bo waited a second, but then quickly reckoned

it best to just let the toad be.

“Thanks!” she said politely, but felt more like “Bite me!”

then ran to her good friend, Cody.

He greeted her gladly, but then replied sadly

no wool-covered ewes had he seen.

He’d keep his eyes open and left her with hopin’

to get help from Cora and Jean.

Bo saw a commotion and, with nagging notions,

she ran to the base of a hill.

A boy’s crown was broken; the girl had not spoken.

Bo found out their names — Jack and Jill.

Bo checked the fields over for forbs and white clover,

but still her sheep couldn’t be found.

With dinnertime closer, she put up some posters

and checked pastures closer to town.

A few people babbled “When Miss Mary traveled,

her small lamb was always nearby.

You could tie a bell on and take some ripe melon.

Perhaps you could give that a try.”

A thought then came to her.  Her friend nearby knew her

dilemma and offered to help.

Her hungry lamb followed, then tripped as it swallowed.

On impact, it gave out a yelp.

Bo sidestepped poor Mary and offered to carry

her little lamb up to the vet.

Its fleece was stained bright red from the knock on its head.

So it hadn’t helped her out yet.

Where could they be hiding?  Had they been deciding

they’re better off on dusty roads?

They weren’t in the fields, no, nor grazing in meadows

and this perplexed poor busty Bo.

She went down some side streets where more friends she could meet

and described her ongoing plight.

They said they’d assist her.  And then she asked Mister

Sun “Will you help delay the night?”

The sun wasn’t frightful and, not to be spiteful,

pushed through the white clouds all alone.

Bo’s good friend, Miss Hubbard, had gone to her cupboard

to get her poor doggie a bone.

So Bo checked the cupboard with Old Mother Hubbard.

You guessed it!  The cupboard was bare.

No bone for a puppy, no food for a guppy,

and no, Bo Peep’s sheep were not there.

So little Bo Peep was still searching for sheep

and clueless to where they might be.

She asked Mother Hubbard, who’s still at her cupboard,

“Would you do a favor for me?”

Consoling the young girl, she gave her a quick twirl,

then scooted her out the back door.

“Go ask Mr. Horner.  He’s there on the corner.

I’ve got to go down to the store.”

Bo walked to the corner and there sat Jack Horner

with dishes of cream pie and whey.

Without hesitation and slight aggravation,

she asked if he’d seen sheep that day.

He paused just to linger, then licked off his finger,

and replied no sheep came his way.

His mind filled with lust as he stared at her bust

and hoped to convince her to stay.

He rose like a gent should, then stepped back and bent.  “Would

you care to sit here for awhile?”

Bo Peep said “Well, OK, but I really can’t stay.

I still have to cover more miles.”

Jack sat down beside her, then stepped on a spider

and offered a quick kiss goodbye.

Quickly rising from rest, she adjusted her chest

and poked a quick thumb in his eye.

At this point, Miss Muffet jumped down from her tuffet

and seemed to be headed their way.

She had half a mind to be much less than kind to

them both for their carnal foray.

His thumb in one cream pie, he rubbed near his right eye,

but promised he’d look for the sheep.

Bo Peep hadn’t cared to join in what he’d dared to

and blew off the promise he’d keep.

Well, Little Miss Muffet had seen quite enough.  It

was sick what he’d done with those pies.

And why was he flirty?  Bo Peep was so dirty.

She’d heard quite enough of his lies.

She grabbed his last whey jar and told him to stay far

and not use her tuffet again.

So now Lil’ Miss Muffet, while not on her tuffet,

was still eating curds and sweet whey.

The spider was dead, though, from what we’ve just read, so

Miss Muffet decided to stay.

Oval Humpty Dumpty sat high on a wall.  See,

he sat high to see everywhere.

And this may sound mushy; he liked Muffet’s tushy,

but really, most girls with red hair.

But shaped like an egg and the absence of legs can

cause wobbling and casual falls.

His ego inflated, he dreamed they had dated

and Muffet had given her all.

With no thoughts to pillage, Bo went to the village.

Time seemed to be slipping away.

With help from her good friends, she hoped her quest would end.

She hadn’t had much luck this day.

With no time to piddle with the cat and fiddle…

had her sheep jumped over the moon?

She thought that was crazy and felt a bit hazy.

She’d been searching for them since noon.


and went to the fresh produce stand.

but more a shock to see gobble up broccoli

Six spears filled her tummy at last.

Meanwhile, Humpty Dumpty had felt a quick bump.  Tea

and spice tasted good from his cup.

He bent too far over, then saw a king.  “Yo, sir!”

He’d fallen and couldn’t get up.

The King’s men and horses tried medical sources,

but had no luck fixing his crack.

They couldn’t be sure how much he could endure now,

but then planned how they’d put him back.

Their castle concubines brought spackle and thick twine

and coated him with a mesh cast.

Then gave him the day off off and told him to stay off

until the severe pain had passed.

Well, Humpty was hurtin’ and knew that for certain

the pain of oncoming attacks.

He spied the plush tuffet of Little Miss Muffet

and hoped it could cushion his crack.

He wobbled the sidewalk and hoped that his sly talk

would find his sweet Miss in good stead.

But busty Bo passed him; her broccoli gassed him

and left Humpty Dumpty for dead.


Her deadline approaching, she felt it encroaching

and her mind was nearing wit’s end.

Another commotion gave Bo one last notion

to enlist the aid of her friends.

A large crowd had gathered, but Bo Peep had rathered

kept looking while the trail was hot.

Then she stood astonished at what she’d accomplished -

her young ewes were boiling in pots.

She ran to the ovens but stuck just one glove in

and proclaimed “These ewes were all mine!”

She didn’t feel crappy, but hungry and happy.

She’d found them BEFORE dinnertime!

Then Bo saw her daddy and thought he’d be mad.  He

had trusted to leave her in charge.

But her wise daddy knew what she’d put herself through

and gave her a hug super-large.

“I’m sorry, sweet Bo for the mix-up.  The po’ store

had told me their order was late.

When they asked if the ewes were a good substitute,

I promised them lamb chops by 8:00.

I asked them to phone you.  Since you’d be alone, you

could focus your duties elsewhere.

I told him to hurry so you wouldn’t worry

when you checked the pen, they weren’t there.

He’d dialed up the number, but you, in your slumber,

unfortunately, never heard.

I’m proud of your action.  From now on, the facts, hon,

I’ll call you.  I give you my word.”

In her desperation, the town’s celebration

was what Bo Peep needed the most.

And since it was her sheep the townspeople would eat,

Bo Peep was the evening host.

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