Why would I full-circle back To an angel-devil like you?

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The end of a relationship...Love pure and tender turns dark and painful, abusive controlling.

 

Silken bed sheets, lying awake

Syrupy images, thinking of you

Yearning, imagining 

Are you missing me too?

 

Dusty clouds, shadowy skies

My heart tears in two

Falling slowly to pieces

As I recall we’re through

 

I cry into my feathered pillow

Wet drops, early morning dew

Mascara black smudges

Who am I? What should I do?

 

Eyes stinging like acid

I see yours, a dazzling cobalt blue

My mind, tangled, wiry wool  

Your actions unyielding, bamboo

 

I reach across the bed, an empty space

When, where, what, why, who?

Questions, doubts haunt me

Answers confused, responses too few, untrue

 

My mobile softly vibrates

Sweet breath sharply I drew

Look down at the messages

Your name lights up, a sigh, phew

 

Scrambling, reaching, scrunching my eyes

Joy hits me, wondrous world anew

Honeyed dreamy words envelope me

Our love, you and me, your review

 

I remember lovemaking, raw, deep, hungry

Perfumed passion, a poison-laced brew

Day, night, morning, afternoon, twilight

Our love seemed magnetic, undoubtedly true

 

And then too deep, a cutting knife

That’s not kind, your feelings askew

A slap, a punch, a kick of pain

Salty whimpers, wishes for intimacy new

 

My insides torn, wrecked

My physical being mangled you threw

You laughed, you tormented, you hurt

But always predictably another woo

 

And then an epiphany, I deeply ponder

With unseasoned clarity, an authentic view

Why would I full-circle back

To an angel-devil like you?

 

I think about me, only me

About my deepest colour, my hue

I’m bright, effervescent, a luminous star

But with you at best, I was inky blue

 

I clutch onto my aching soul

Urging it to make you taboo

My head and heart feuding

What you did was wholly undue

 

With renewed vigour, lying awake

Stained by the colourless imprint of you

I numb myself to your shape

Your turn forever to miss me now too

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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