I remember my brothers and I used to have to share clothes. The hand me down shirts, pants, shoes, pain I like new clothes As you can see they're Free of blood stains And they hide my families scars so well They cover the pain. The same pain once Tattooed across bodies in blood
We forgot how to cry early on
So we learned how to cut
Like shrugs rolling the days off shoulders
Adding countless lines to the eulogies drafted on dying skin
Who best to write about theses lives than the ones struggling to live them?
But we were artists you know?
The skin was just canvas
No, more marble, that is carved, chipped away at
Until there is only exposed bone.
We found a sort of beauty to the pain though
And I'm sorry to say that I can't explain.
I just won't try to justify such foolishness
Because I have held my brothers blood in my hands
Way too many times
About as many as we've had to save each others lives
Because blade kissed skin
Turned needle blessed veins
And who were we to play it safe?
What we became was way past hate
Where pitch black back ally ways became home
And our well lit slaughter house home stayed cold
It was okay
We were used to these chains
We could lead ourselves to slaughter every day
So we didn't need to sugarcoat the taste of dirty water in our veins
Because there is no elegant way to say
That we tried to die on the side for fun
Through car crashes, blackouts, falling out, keeping pace
Matching each others pain was like a game
And death became a joke we understood the punchline to
So it was hard not to laugh in its face...
I bought these shoes today
They were $15 dollars. Oh yeah!
I could've bought a pack of razors and a bag of dope you know
But hell no.
Not today, not now
Now, we can walk around proud
Now we know of love, and we get to keep our blood
Inside of our veins, no longer hungry
No longer willing to spill anything but
Heartbeat after beat after we beat our own games
These thoughts from our brains
Stepping out of our faded daze
Looking forward to some good old age
But there are times I do look back
At our old photographs with old backpacks and blood pacts, at missing members of the pack
And I think
What if we changed the past
Avoided this fast track with the deadly backlash
But hindsight is just that
And this is where we're at
Now with our new shoes, hair do's, clean pockets with clean cash, and a brighter future
Than what blinded us in the past.
It wasn't easy, so I won't lie
It was only after we've died, way too many times
That we finally learned that we could survive