The Consultant Song

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A jingle describing the consultant view

I'm so happy to be here!  I'm ready to learn,

You have those consulting dollars to burn,

They appreciate your effort but want a better result,

I like talking more than doing so I love to consult,

So show me every trick, teach me all that you know,

And I'll pitch 'em an idea you pitched 'em years ago

 

Cause I'm consulting!  Hey, listen to me!

Experience ain't all that they make it out to be,

Cause I'm consulting!  Hey what you need to know,

I can solve any problem with my slide show

 

I never liked accounting or reporting lines,

Couldn't grasp the fundamentals of org design,

Technology is tricky and I don't like tricks,

I vote 'NO' on difficult and 'YES' on quick fix,

My daddy said "son, you're no wizard of finance,

No discipline for detail but you sure can dance",

 

Cause I'm consulting!  Hey, listen to me!

The daily office grind is not the life for me,

Cause I'm consulting!  Hey what you need to know,

I can measure anything with this here ratio

 

I'm gonna dazzle you with my structured meeting,

I care, but honestly my interest is fleeting,

For now I need your information and trust,

And to take credit for all the ideas that we discussed,

I'm your consultant!  You know on me you can depend,

My report says cut your role but in my heart you're a friend

 

Cause I'm consulting!  Hey, listen to me!

Strategy is grave and I prefer carefree,

Cause I'm consulting!  Hey what you need to know,

I'll take your money while you maintain the status quo.

 

 

 

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