Shades of You 1 (of 3)

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Nonlinear three part piece about the deep ins and outs of Your life...The Present

Shades of You I
By Christopher Michael Carter

You work hard with no results
You know that something will come
But it’s hard to explain that to everyone else
You don’t have as many supporters as you do Facebook friends
You fear you’ll never be as big as you should be
You love your friends and family
But feel it’s hard to stay close
You told a longtime friend that you had fallen for her in high school
Things got weird
She doesn’t understand that the feeling was over a decade ago
And died soon after it was born
Friendships are a strange tightrope
You joked with a friend who’d recently lost her husband
The joke was in poor taste and you offended her
When all you tried to do was joke with her as you would any other friend
The way you include others isn’t the norm
You step on toes when you try to give them room
You want your friends as your family
You love them
You don’t feel the same in reply
You feel that art is life
And life is art
But it seems that very few share your beliefs
You often feel you’re surrounded by wolves
You’re a wolf as well
But you don’t feel the same
Your surroundings appear feral
While you keep your composure
You’ve spent your life in the audience
And want one shot at having the podium to yourself
You want an audience
You want to be heard as you have heard others
You know your past
And can’t change it
You know where your future lies
But it’s hard to convince others
You’re confused about your present
With great things ahead how can you be so unhappy?
You’ll never know
You’re surrounded but you’re alone simultaneously
You’re lonely
The loneliest person you know
You used to have to surround yourself with people
Then you wanted everyone gone
Now you’re wishing everyone back
You’re fickle
Lonely and fickle
Unhappy in your personal life
Happy in your profession
You miss everyone, even when you’re with them
You live a life of regret
Everyone has ‘the one that got away’
You have more than one that you missed out on
You’re the King of the Ones that got away
And they’ll never know
In high school you and your buddy spoke of girls you guys liked
You reluctantly told him of one
He happened to work with her at a grocery store and told you that she felt the same
You didn’t believe it
He confirmed it
You never acted on it because you didn’t feel you were ‘cool’ enough for her
She’s amazing
And you threw away the opportunity because you didn’t believe in yourself
You and her still talk every blue moon
And she’ll never know just what she meant/means to you
You are your biggest enemy
You have left you alone
You try not to think about your past
And you push through your present
Seeing happiness in the future
And your art is all you can honestly rely on
If it grows bored with you as everything and everyone else in your life has
You will cease to exist
Your coffee’s grown cold in your life reflections
Get up and get a fresh cup
And just maybe you can break a cycle or two

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