Ode: To a Cancer Stick

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Note: this poem was composed at a time when the author was trying desperately to quit smoking. He has now successfully been smoke-free for nearly six years and counting. lmr

 
 
I have needed you,
Like oxygen.  I have breathed you in…
Inhaled and exhaled you
In fits, in drifts and drafts
And dizzying spins.

And I have
Sucked you
Deeply into my lungs
Like some nicotine dream
Or herbal retreat…
An opiate from
A madness
That dare not speak
Its name.

I have needed you...
Breathed and inhaled
You so deeply
You became
My wind… became
The song
That plays in my brain
And repeats
And repeats
Its cunningly
Sly refrain.

I have needed you,
In times of stress.  I have
Pined for you.  I have
Become no less than
A slave. 
Inhaled deeply and
Breathed you in,
And felt my viscera sigh and
Palpitate…
From the giddiness of
The high. I have
Needed you, and cursed
You.  And I
Have even been your bitch.
I have known you
With both lewd
And angelic
Inhalations.

I have felt my
Corpuscles race and
Stiffen
And glided with
The flutter of
Sightless butterflies, as I
Imagined gardens of
Earthly delights.


Yes, I have needed you
Like a lapsed Christian needs
A crucifix...
Never knowing if
Your presence will
Save me from impending darkness
Or kill me slowly with
Each flickering light. 

And soooo very slowly
I have breathed you
Into my system… and
Made you a part of my
Blood stream's story
And si-i-i-i-i-iighed
Until you became
Like my prick

Of heroin…
Sliding thru my arteries
And taking me on wings to
The Heights of Heaven. You are

And you have been
My insanity and my
Adrenaline, personified.
And I have become
A junkie...

Nodding to The High…
Purring to The High
Smiling to The High
While dancing inside
Each time, I close my eyes
To slowly
Deeply
Breathe
You
In…
 
 


copyright © 2010 by L.M. Ross

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Note:  this poem was composed at a time when the author was trying to quit smoking.  He has successfully been smoke-free for nearly six years and counting.
 
 
 

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