NEED

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I woke with blood on my hands.    Third time this week. I said never again after the first time. I guess my will is weak. A week ago I was different,  Although I may have looked similar. I couldn’t stop once I’d started, ...

I woke with blood on my hands.   
Third time this week.
I said never again after the first time.
I guess my will is weak.

A week ago I was different, 
Although I may have looked similar.
I couldn’t stop once I’d started,
The new became the familiar.

A new familiar taste in my mouth,
Whose blood is it today?
Hot water will clean my body.
But the thoughts won’t go away.

In a way, that’s okay though,
I’m ashamed to admit.
I’m beginning to relish,
And get excited by it.

By ‘it’ I mean everything,
The stalking, the chase.
The lust, anticipation,
The warmth and the taste.

The taste is the best part,
It gets the blood flowing.
Exciting just to think about….
I need to get going.

I’m not going to fight it,
I have to accept what I am,
I’m the big bad wolf,
The world is my lamb.


© 2014 CRJSmith

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