The (Hidden) Disgusting Side Of A Long-Term Relationship



A few of the grody, unseen habits formed in a long-term relationship.

I thought of you today.

I had a pimple on my back,

right smack in the middle. 

It was out of my reach,

thank god you were around to pop it for me.


I thought of you today.

I farted at work,

the silent but deadly type.

I laughed to myself

and thought about how excited I am to dutch oven you.


I thought of you today.

I shaved my legs in the shower

and remembered when I let my hair grow

for five months straight.

I'm disappointed that it wasn't as long

as the hair on your back.


I thought of you today.

I walked to the bathroom

for my regular morning pee.

Thank god we had the talk

about our pooping schedules,

and thank god they aren't the same. 


I thought of you today.

I plucked my stray eyebrow hairs

and smiled, remembering how sad you were

when I forgot to do our biweekly tweezing

of all the black beard-hairs that grow randomly up your cheeks. 


I thought of you today,

And all the gross things that we do.

Oh how much I love every second;

every dirty, smelly, loud, disgusting,

perfect second.


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