Feels Like Nothing



I can't write. I can't read. I am stuck here like this right now. A poem.

It feels like nothing, 
nothing at all.
Like a void in my spirit, 
a black hole in my wall.
When my defenses come down, 
that nothing remains
to save me from feeling
as it swallows the pain.
I put pen to paper, 
and nothing comes through.
Blank pages with lines
and nothing to prove.
Over and over
I erase the mistakes, 
leaving nothing to show
of the words that I take.
Every word feels like nothing, 
a lie from my soul.
Nothing important.
Nothing finished or whole.
Like something is missing
in every line, 
because every thought
feels like nothing inside.
These reactions are fake; 
every word is pre-planned.
Nothing is real
that I write with this hand.

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