The Church Musician's Twelve Days of Christmas

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Alternate lyrics to the well known tune

I shouldn't. I really shouldn't. But in honor of church musicians everywhere, for whom December is a hectic mess — and because we all need a laugh, here goes:

The Church Musician's 12 Days of Christmas

On the first Christmas rehearsal, my singers gave to me:

A nervous breakdown starting next year

On the second Christmas rehearsal, my singers gave to me:

Two added rests

On the third Christmas rehearsal, my singers gave to me:

Three flat notes

On the fourth Christmas rehearsal, my singers gave to me:

Four altos belting

On the fifth Christmas rehearsal, my singers gave to me:

Five mismatched vowels

On the sixth Christmas rehearsal, my singers gave to me:

Six blown fermatas

On the seventh Christmas rehearsal, my singers gave to me:

Seven chords not tuning

On the eighth Christmas rehearsal, my singers gave to me:

Eight diva tantrums

On the ninth Christmas rehearsal my singers gave to me:

Nine men not watching

On the tenth Christmas rehearsal, my singers gave to me:

Ten sopranos screeching

On the eleventh Christmas rehearsal, my singers gave to me:

Eleven basses grumbling

On the twelfth Christmas rehearsal, my singers gave to me:

Twelve tenors talking

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