A poem so real exposing my deepest demons. So much so I was dead silent for hours when I went back and read it.
Darkness I start this, my heartless discomfort,
Pieces of pisces I tried not to uncover.
Deeper deceiver dwelling well beyond shade,
Escaping the rage world, displaced by hate.
Once ignorance bent me to be broke down,
Violent survival rivaled my need to escape out.
Misused, abused, I was a runaway bastard,
Guns to my head I would laugh then attack them.
Guidance was gone alone scavenging ghettos,
Chaos was real lived on separate levels.
Lost in cold zones, unwanted gutter trash,
The nothing I have is all the nothing I ever had.
Shifting my mission position got long gone,
Stolen food begging friends to sneak in their home.
All that I owned clothes tossed in a trash bag,
Sleeping in rain storms I had to laugh back.
Mother dismissed me, my father was unknown,
Stepdad retarded drunk fought like I was grown.
Screw belief, unseen, my being beat worthless,
I guarantee right now you cannot hurt this.
Needed the high, observing disturbing life,
Mother was beaten bloody so many damn times.
Knowing no love this just didn’t make sense,
Combustion of trust past my present tense.
Lone gone seek release, weaving the streets,
In a kill zone no home I lived like a beast
Spastic outcasted rabid drastic attack dog,
Bipolar panic manically snapping my last cog.
Nowhere but here clear enemies off this square,
Bodyslammed concrete, cracked myself, no repair.
Dead inside inner mind grinder I’m getting by,
Psychotic frenzy logic got tossed to the other side.
Insane asylums were trials for future jails,
The story is real my head still twists stormy trails .
If you seen my visions, you would never believe,
Legions of demons scream in me not to breath.
Soul of a folded mold compressed as I explode,
Manic satanic panic grabs hold remote my control.
Stroll with me sparking the largest fires of hell,
Darkening mental breaks segregated in cells .
Supermax I detached hallucination speaking back,
Torture tempered me hardened my vocal combat.
Explaining life’s night, remembering I inside,
Decapitated the devil emancipated levels of my mind.
The journey forever turning I am a personal prophet,
Creator evolving thoughts infinite and beyond it.
See in the shadows angels and demons collide,
I’m the puzzling mastermind a messiah of life.
The riddler fiddling the pied pipers last call,
Mad hatter shatters matter to splatter my life raw.