I Wonder

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This is probably the most powerful and moving poem about depression that I have ever written. Leave a comment if you wish.

When I look up to the sky

I often wonder why

I have people who love me at home

But I still feel so, so alone

 

I have thoughts in my head

That I cannot get out

Thoughts of my life

They make me want to shout

 

I feel like giving up

Just leave it all behind

Get up and go

But that wouldn't be kind

 

The thoughts in my head

Are like daggers to the heart

Can a life have meaning

When you're about to fall apart

 

My wife and child love me

This I know is true

But I can't help how I feel

Most times, I feel so blue

 

The battle rages on

Within my head

These demons that fight

I wish that they were dead

 

Sometimes I feel OK

But most times I don't

I hope to get over this

But I know that I won't

 

Some people say "Get over it"

While other say "Grow up"

This just makes it so much worse

I wish they would just shut up

 

They don't understand what depression is

Or how it makes me feel

Many others are in the same boat

The problem is real

 

Sometimes, I don't care at all

Sometimes, I care all too well

When these feelings are mixed

It is just pure hell

 

I wish I could just get 

A pat on the back

But most times all I get

Is a kick to the sack (Balls that is)

 

Sometimes, I wonder

What it would be like

To end it all

And give up the fight

 

A gun to my head

Or a blade to my wrists

I don't even care

If I would be missed

 

A noose around my neck

Or leap off a bridge

Or maybe they'll find me

Deep down in a ridge

 

There are so many ways 

To leave this world today

So many choices

Of how to do myself away

 

Then I think of my family

The love and support they give me

If I were to leave

Then where would they be

 

So, I don't think I will

I think I will stay

I will deal with my issues

And live to fight another day.

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