A Man of Time & Ink

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3 years ago I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. As a writer laid up in a hospital bed, what do you think I did? I wrote these 5 pieces and didn't want to separate the litter...

A Man of Time & Ink

Written by Christopher Michael Carter

I grew up writing. I’ve done so for as long as I can remember and when I was hospitalized (where I would receive my Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis) my parents brought me a notebook to keep up with it. So in between numerous tests, countless needles, and late night strolls through the halls these were the pieces I had written. At that time all I had was time and a pen which is why I call this tiny collection "A Man of Time & Ink".


1.
The Crystal Dawn

The crystal dawn illuminates the land
No shadow remains unlit
We see everything for what it is
Good or bad
Everything becomes clear
Crystal clear
And in the light of this new dawn
We feel at ease
Uncomfortable and awkward give way to realization
And understanding
We see our friends and foes for who they are
And their true intentions
And when the new sun births a new sight
We see what we have to do
Regardless of consequence


2.
The Vision

Paint hits canvas before a second to think
Acrylic blotches
Stroke after stroke
The artist vision — blurred
No time to process
No time for thought
Just paint
Just keep painting
Stroke after stroke
Just keep painting
The brush keeps making contact
The bristles lit with the muscle memory of the last swipe
It starts as a hot mess
An indescribable whirl of colors and movement
And then a clearing in the fog
The vision found
Through chaos comes clarity


3.
Diagnosis

The doctor said I would be fading slowly
I would have been happier had he given me a shorter death sentence
One day
Perhaps even an hour to live
Would suffice a lot more than a slow drift
To disappear before everyone's very eyes
It's sad
I want to curl up and die
Knowing I won't be of worth to anyone adds to that
But then again
Maybe I was never of worth
Regardless of my small fraction of a death wish
I'm too strong and I've come too far to let this take me
If it wants me
It will have to fight for me
And if it wants me that bad
A fight is what it will get


4.
First Mate

The vessel was set for a bright voyage
The captain and his first mate
His only crew
His only love
The sails were set and the weather was right
While the stars guided them by night
The warm sun lead their days
Everything was fine and they were content with their cargo
But in an instance of panic
The captain's crew spotted excess water on the ship's deck
She didn't think too long before aborting
The captain was left alone
Confused and hurt, he still understood
Who wants to stay on a leaky boat?
It was survival
And so she abandoned ship
Alas there was never a leak in such a vessel
Leftover fluid from the captain's past he'd had trouble mopping from the deck
Days went by
Lonely days of cold realization
She too realized
She realized that it wasn't sinking
The only holes in such a structure were fear and paranoia
She comes to
She wants back onboard
But he can't just let her come back so easily, can he?
She must swim, she must tread water
The strength of her will and the strength of her legs
Will be the strength of her love
She will tread
She must tread
And his eyes won't leave her


5.
A Certain View

The city smiles
It twinkles like a Christmas tree
A thousand winking & blinking eyes
All looking at me
But only from my window
Seclusion is sweet
Everything is moving art
Plenty of time to think
Time to sort
Nothing is direct
A nice barrier from reality
But only from my window

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