Kryptonite

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I wanted to destroy you; I wanted to bring you to your knees. But not with my words, nor did I want to leave you dangling by strings above the gates of hell. I wanted to cancel plans, make you just angry enough to not answer your phone. I knew exactl...

I wanted to destroy you; I wanted to bring you to your knees. But not with my words, nor did I want to leave you dangling by strings above the gates of hell. I wanted to cancel plans, make you just angry enough to not answer your phone. I knew exactly where I would need to go, to the back of your favorite book store. Waiting, watching, but mostly wondering if the rain deflated your heart as much as your hair. I wanted that smell to remind you of me: the smell of humid rain, a dusty corner book store, sadness.  I could have you no other way. With a proper outing I was sure to see you in your Sunday’s best, your hair perfectly in tact and a flawless face of make-up. But that isn’t the you I wanted. I wanted this. I wanted to be your book store on a rainy day. I wanted to hold your hand as we walked the brick lined sidewalks until the smell of a bakery filled our nostrils with nostalgia. I wanted to sleep with you. Clothes on, a matted mess of hair, the rain knocking at the open window pane. The blankets lay awry and your hands twitched in your sleep. Were you the girl in your books today? Did the weeping willows encompass your sadness and make home of your soul? Did a mysterious, half immortal character make love to your heart in only ways that I could not? Who were you, keeper of my binding? I was a book long forgotten, and you, my spine. My only will to meld together the depressing piece of sadness I was meant to be. I would lean over and trace my finger across your cheek and at once, know there was heaven on earth. I would kiss your lips and forever be your rainy day. I will have all at once ruined your day and shown you the deepest confides of my soul.

I wanted to destroy you. I wanted you to know how capable I was of killing every lighted cell in your body. You would come to understand how powerful our presences were together, how capable of hurting each other we were. I wanted to dismember your soul and make home of your corners. Much like the rain today, I will have deflated your hair and wet the ends of your jeans, but I would rock you to sleep every night until eternity came crashing down upon us both.

God, how badly I wanted to destroy you. And how willing my heart was to lie over every time I tried. Kryptonite.

 

Alexandra L. Narron

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