Frank Zappa had a lot of intelligent proverbs, which I guess was only meant as explanations or words. Try to Google him, and I'll guess you'll be impressed. He said "It's better to have something to remember, than anything to regret" and this part is about what you remember.
I have read that if you want to gain knowledge, you need to repeat what you have learned. Since many of you may be as lazy as I am, you wont do this unless someone (like me) help you. So; here are a short summary of the three firsts parts, before moving on to #5
In the first part you learnt the importance of taking it all from the very beginning, although many of you understand that starting with the creation of heaven and the earth can be regarded as overkill. But, you know what they say; Life sucks and then you marry one who doesn’t. People will think bad of you anyway, more than you know, so why not give them a reason for doing so?
In the second part you learnt that it is important with a good memory, so you can confront people later in life when time has shown that you were right from the start. If sometimes, and this has never happened to me, you experience to be wrong from the start, it is wise to shut up and sday you cant remember. This is what all politicians do – all the time. But another thing you learnt from part two, is the magic technic of literature called «Show, don’t tell». If you would like to know more about it, please Google it, but in short; Insted of telling people something – show it to them. That was the reason I did not waste precious time in telling my friends why I, as a man, could not be a feminist. Insted I showed them, and what they saw was my genitals placed like a moon jellyfish in the palm of my hand. Maybe, somebody would regard this “showing off” as overkill too, but as I told you; people will always think the worst of you.
In the third part you learnt that the truth is not what it seems like: The truth. Dire Straits say in a song; “Two men say they’re Jesus, one of them must be wrong”, and this sum up everything you need to know about life and the truth. You also learned that if you want to know the real truth, you have to take people out of their setting, place them somewhere they can be themselves (and of course, alcohol helps out a lot) and ask them directly – then you probably will hear something closer to the truth, unless you are dealing with a real bastard. Tom Waits told us “I’ve never told the truth, so I can never tell a lie”, and this mantra goes very well for politicians, business leaders and used cars salesmen – so, as you also should have learned from part three, it’s important to know the foundation of the person you are dealing with.
So these three words; beginning – show – truth should guide you towards what we are narrowing in — the foundation of the bet.
The day after I left the party you read about in part two, I was contacted by Helena. Some of you might think she contacted me because she was so impressed by what I showed her and all the others, but in fact she told me she barely had seen anything. I assumed it was bad lighting, or maybe even crowded of interested viewers which were the reason, but have to admit I also thought that it maybe was as simple as the asshole she was married to, had been better hung than me. Anyway, I have always heard that size does not matter — it’s more important with meters per second.
Helena told me that someone had taken a photo of me “showing – not telling” and that they wanted to publish this on Instagram as an example of sexual harassment, unless I gave them a well-documented argument on why men can’t be feminists. I asked how and why, and they had been talking about it after I left for my bed, and the premise were clear; a written argument, published official and with an academic approach. I was given 24 hours to think about it, and replied after seventeen that I could not do this without losing face in front of all my co-workers, who knew I would never do such a thing voluntarily.
“No, problem”, said Helena, “Just tell them you lost a bet”.
So here I am at the famous school, I’m dressing sharp and I’m acting cool … - but unlike Bobby Brown, I have no cheerleader here to help with my papers — and have to take care of it all by myself. So my lost bet is nothing more than a blackmailing project from some feminists, but as a man I will do this very simple; History have shown that showing instead of telling can sometimes turn out bad, even though all writers could swear I’m wrong. Instead I will tell you why a man cannot be a feminist.
To be able to do that, I started to read some feminist theory, and gained some knowledge; I thought the world was sick earlier – now I know it’s insane.
To be continued …