The Chronicles continue: With my eyes blurring from the tears that can no longer hide from my dire desperation I see the person hurdling towards me, it is another guy and I can see he is screaming but I can see only his mouth moving and his arms frantically waving as the massive wall of black looms
With my eyes blurring from the tears that can no longer hide from my dire desperation I see the person hurdling towards me, it is another guy and I can see he is screaming but I can see only his mouth moving and his arms frantically waving as the massive wall of black looms above and behind him.
As I lay there struggling to breathe through the soil in my face and windless crush in my chest I feel the icy freeze of the darkness’s shadow touching my body as the man nears closer at merely feet away from me. Wearily I try to get up but I can not and like a demonic crash from hell the wave slams down over this stranger I so longed to help escape the wave, and so direly needed to question. Freezing cold and with a force of a jet engine comes over me the power of the wave and I feel my body being dragged along the rugged ground as the wave passes over and then….silence. I open my eyes as the dust settles and the roaring silences again, the wave and the man — gone.
Laying there on my back covered in dust and blood running from the gash on the side of my forehead, my ankle tangled in dry decaying roots, my body sore from the fall and my hopes shattered…I begin to cry aloud. I struggle up to my feet and wobble to gather my composition; I turn back to the city that lay ahead of me, shady and seemingly cold on the horizon where the blackness of the sky rages still. Suppressing the dire urge to continue crying and wailing out in torment, the last of my tears run down my dirty face and I take a deep breath, as yet again I am alone.
As I walk this arid land I pray only for a friend to be at my side in this darkness that weighs so heavily on my soul, anyone to give me strength and help me to keep moving forward. I am so weak, so tired and so confused that I feel numb and so very desperate to give up, however something inside of me is staying strong when in my heart I am pleading to just give in.
Questions keep plaguing my mind and my thoughts, mentally I feel so weak already, near broken.Why is this happening to me? Why am I here? Who am I? What am I? Do I deserve this? Must I bleed to wake up? Will my blood mean anything?
This nightmare of existence is weighing so heavily on me, I feel so cold all the time. I want to wake up, I want to feel safe, I want to feel friendship and trust and togetherness. I long to escape this feeling of loneliness and remorse from something I can not distinguish whether it is remorse of being me or remorse of something I have done. The coldness I feel is so awful, like the chill from a cold sweat, a cold that just wont go away, a cold no jacket or blanket could cure. I want so badly to cry and free myself of this suffering inside of me, but I can release only so much before I begin to fail my soul.
The further I go, the closer I get to the ghostly city of shadows, the more decaying souls I see scattered on the distance of this place and its breaking at my core even more. I need help here, in this dark and cold. My legs feel as though they are propelled by automated mechanisms, I feel only a numbness from my thoughts down. The nausea in me is derived from further than my stomach, it comes from the contemptible source of my being that is being poisoned by the blackness that weighs down on me.
Nearing the shadowy city, I stumbled mindlessly, almost without life through a field of black grass — the smell of burnt wood and fires is pungent in the air hanging like a thin blanket of hazy smoke that thickens the further I stagger, tripping on waste, ruins and debris from things I fear to know origination.
I can recall happiness, vaguely I can recall the freedom I once felt before I found the door that brought me to this truth. As the mist envelopes me, I move blindly on a fractured hope as I am drowned in it.
To be continued....