Marriages — How are they arranged in India?

"Arranged Marriages" has been a very — very intriguing topic for me throughout my life. I am an Indian girl and the concept as to how marriages are arranged in India keeps me looking for stories in different households. The idea itself looks extremely fascinating that two unknown people come together with the wish and blessings of their families and live together through-out their lives but has a lot of shady aspects attached to much so that I have heard and believe can be true.

Today's story is that of Tara and Abhinendra and I was completely awestruck when I listened to the story of how their Marriage was fixed in a funeral! A Funeral, seriously? Their relatives were attending a funeral together and once the rituals at the gathering were over, they started discussing about Marriages and finally ended up inviting each other to their places to meet their children who could be future bride and groom. Since Abhinendra had met quite a few matches and was not able to see anything clicking, he declined meeting with Tara and let his parents meet her. Once Abhinendra's parents gave a heads up, Tara's elder brother and sister-in-law visited the would-be groom's place to meet him and finalize on the wedding plan, if any, in detail. Both the families agreed to a certain date and time and the wedding date was finalized. What came to me as the biggest shock was that they did not even meet once before wedding and have been living their married life for over 30 years now. They both have differences of opinion, they both fight but still have been living together sometimes to fulfill their responsibilities as parents and sometimes because they do not know how to leave each other at this stage in life, what will the Society think and say about them!

Most weddings in India are arranged and people live together not because they love each other so much so that they will not be able to live but because there is so much of pressure from family and society that they forget to live for themselves. There is nothing wrong about Arranged Marriages but the emotional atyachaar or emotional drama associated to it takes away all the good things from the relationship and leaves behind just the carcass that the individuals have to bear through out their lives. Additionally, everybody today wants a big-fat Indian wedding without even considering the fact that the amount they want to invest in a marriage can actually help them realize their wish for a beautiful house or a luxury car and so on..

With all this involved, I keep wondering how can a sensible and logical human fall for ideas like this!!


Dear Readers, my work is an attempt to bring forth the stories of people in our society. These stories have a lot to say and quite a number of times I will add my thoughts around them as well. Please feel free to agree or disagree so that we can have a logical discussion and try make our society a better place to live in.. Happy Reading!!




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