Paige and Bones Teaser



Later that night, I’m awakened by a strange noise.  I forgot to turn off my lamp and look around again.  Now the light in my bathroom is on.  That’s weird.  Dad’s still snoring away in his room, so who the hell turned on the light in my bathroom?  I get up and walk over, open the door and turn off the light.  Closing the door, I turn back to my room to find I’m not alone.  

Standing at the foot of my bed there’s someone facing away from me.  He’s just standing there looking down at the pillows.  “Uh… excuse me, who the fuck are you?”

He doesn’t turn, just mumbles, “Nobody in particular.”

“Then why are you here?”

He turns slowly and I get a good look at him.  He’s wearing a matte black pinstriped suit with a black shirt and a scarlet tie.  His hair is wild, shaggy and completely jet-black and his eyes are ruby-red.  He grins—he’s got teeth like a bear trap, but that’s not the most interesting thing about him.  Half his face is missing—well, it’s missing skin anyway.  It’s nothing but pure bone.  He just laughs and says, “Yo!  S’up?”

I take a few steps to the side—now my dresser is just behind me.  If I’m quick enough I can get it out.  The strange being in front of me waves, “Hello?  I know you aren’t deaf.  I’ve heard you talk before, you speak English very good.”

“It’s ‘very well,’ you dumb-ass.”

“Oh?”  The grin on his face widens, he’s got sharp, teeth.  He laughs, “You’ve got spunk—I like you.”

I scoff, “Who the hell do you think you are?”

He tilts his head, “Eh?  You’ve got balls, talking to me like that.  I thought humans were afraid of supernatural things—what’s with you?  Why aren’t you scared?”

My hands are behind me, searching through my top drawer.  “Why should I be afraid of you?  You’re probably some sick dream I’m having.  I’ll wake up eventually.”

He straightens his head as he utters, “Just a dream, eh?  You humans give your brain too much credit.”

I nod, “You’re right.”

I tighten my grip on what I’ve been looking for.  I take my arm out of the dresser and aim my handgun at the weirdo standing there.  His eyes widen, “Oh?  Well, aren’t you very interesting?”

“I know I’m wide awake.  There’s no way in hell you’re a manifestation of one of my dreams.  You’re too damn ugly.”

He rolls his tongue out at me, “So does this mean you’re going to put a bullet in me?”

I pull the trigger once and a pellet goes flying towards him.  It lands between his eyebrows.  The creature falls back howling in agony—I’ve got my gun still aimed at him.  Obviously I don’t own a gun—in my hands is a Desert Eagle .50AE airsoft gun.  Whatever he is, he can feel pain.  He’s rolling on my bed shouting curses.  I ask loudly, “Who are you?”

Rubbing his wound he sits up and states, “My name’s Bones.”

I lower my weapon, “What the hell kind of name is ‘Bones?’”

He shouts, “The one my father gave me!”

I shout back, “What kind of father names his child that?”

He growls, “My father!  And I ain’t no child!”

Glaring, I ask, “Oh yeah?  Well how old are you, Bones?”

He blinks several times, “Uh... When was the last Ice Age?”

Unamused by his response, I yell, “That was several thousand years ago, asshole!”

“Oh yeah!”

Bones crosses his legs and ponders.  I may have lowered my gun, but I’ve still got a tight grip on it.  He snaps his fingers and asks with a smile, “Hey girlie, when was that Jesus fella around?”

“Are you serious?”

He laughs, “Hell no!”

I raise my gun and shoot another pellet at him.  This one puts a big dent in his forehead.  He falls back on the bed howling in pain.  He’s rolling again, yelling at me.  Then he jumps up to his feet and shouts, “Damn it, just cause I’m immortal does not mean that I can’t feel pain!”

I lower my gun, “Immortal?  There’s no such thing as an immortal.”

He steps down from my bed and walks over to me.  He’s standing a few feet away from me and I get a good look at him.  He’s missing the skin from his cheekbone to his forehead.  You can’t see the layers of skin and muscle like a cross section from his bony side to fleshy side; the skin sort of just inserts into the bone.  His left eyeball—the bony side of his face doesn’t have any muscles holding it up; it’s just an eye floating in the socket.  Very creepy.  

Bones grins, “My name is Calavera Bones.” 

I raise my gun and press it to his forehead, “I’m going to need you to take a few steps back, Candelabra.”

“Or you’ll shoot me again?”

I nod.  He raises his arms and takes several steps back.  I lower the gun and ask, “What do you want from me?”

Bones says, “This isn’t 20 Questions.”

“The only answer you’ve given me is your stupid name.”

He answers, “My, my…  Mighty impatient, aren’t you?”

He sits at the foot of the bed and says, “My dad’s getting old and wants me to take over the family business, but to do that, I’ve got to get married.”

He sighs and explains, “And where I’m from all of the girls bore me to death.  So that’s why I’ve come here to find a bride.”

I ask, “What’s your family’s business?”

He ignores my question and asks, “Why aren’t you scared of my face?”

The question catches me off guard and I tell him, “You’re not scary!  You’re kind of cute actually.”

“You think I’m cute?”

“Yeah, for a demon you’re kind of cute.  Annoying, but cute nevertheless.”

His smile widens and I say, “Don’t even think about it.  I am not going to be your wife!”

He pouts, “But you’d love it in Tartarus!  And hey—I’m no demon!  I’m a reaper!”

His words go through me like the cold wind from earlier.  My heart feels heavy and cold for some reason.  He’s got the body of a skinny boy my age and yet he just said he’s a reaper.  I’m struggling to keep a tight grip on my gun, “Hey, what did you say your family’s business was?”

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