The thought process of someone who loves from afar.
She didn't want to do too much and go off the deep end. There was always the possibility of there being no reciprocity, as her personal history had taught her. When she liked, she liked and when she loved, she loved. And as she sealed the envelope of both her fate and her last payment on her credit card which she would shortly max out again to invest in a stranger's business she thought about how foolishly she was probably behaving for a stranger. A stranger who probably barely knew she existed. But, she knew the stranger. She saw into the stranger and in the stranger she saw herself. She knew herself and her capabilities. She saw herself living vicariously through the stranger's success and in order for her to live it, she had to invest in it. She knew her strengths. She knew her weaknesses. She pursued her own path, but there's always that part of her that wonders “What if?” and the stranger answered. So, while pursuing what she believes is her path, she keeps tabs on another in hopes for success in both. In doing so, her dreams are not left as dreams, but are dreams realized.