This is a piece of the project I am working on (Morning people). This writing is still a draft.
I’m out of emotions for now, my brain let me know and so I wouldn’t panic too much. It happens. A lot and sometimes never. That might be the reason I still feel awkward when these moments pop up on the way. After a couple years of experience though, I’ve learnt that keeping a neutral silence might be the best solution. Let things take place by themselves, just as they would anyway. The order of being mute in uncomfortable situations might come too strong sometimes, that I actually suffer or get hurt.
Life plays lots of uncomfortable situations. I have lots of examples to illuminate you with. Imagine waiting for your lunch under the one o’clock sunlight, and you can’t ask the waiter to change your seat. Or give you a better one if anyone leaves their table. It’s not a fancy restaurant with lots of high class and chic pressure, it’s the street food type of place I’m talking about. The scalp being burnt by the sun, hungry and silent, they all add up and the saw gets stuck in, right in the middle of your butt hole. That’s how my people say it. No way to go back, nor forth if that helps; it’s a saw in your bottom.
The silence is too powerful that no one dares to break it. It’s no problem though. It’s just a lunch, and it actually seems to be tickling, in a very artistic way. No one talks, just waiting for the cheap meat with salad and extra tomato. I am facing the sun in my sunglasses. I wouldn’t wish for rain, but maybe some clouds instead. There were no other seats we could switch with, really, but I couldn’t ask the waiter to put us somewhere in the shadow. That wouldn’t fit today, this story. The purpose was to sit and have a quick lunch. Stand up, gather our stuff and move to another table; that wouldn’t be any quick. So I might sweat and dry out in the spring sun. Well, I really wouldn’t wish for clouds, now that I thought about it. If the clouds show up and block the sun out, it’d get cold. The winter wasn’t that far away, just a few weeks before. The wind still gives you the chill as it blows. So the sun was actually a blessing, an uncomfortable blessing. How can I wish for the blessing to go away? It’s the saw; no away to go back nor forth.
Losing it all gradually.It’s not super natural.
“…” he said in his mouth. I heard him but it didn’t stick to my head. We had to go back. Seeing my plate with a little bowl of salad in front of me through the brown shades of my glasses. I was hungry before. Talks, walks, noises of the crowd cheering for their football team, the noon sun, madness and fear, who cares about the food? Looking straight ahead and keeping calm with a deep breath. I drank water. It’s wouldn’t take more than a second, and a look on the eye to find out what it actually was about.