sad, bad friendships in Fun City, Pattaya, Thailand
Pattaya News : A Debt-Ridden Agogo Dancer Wants To Kick Me In The Head
Name Your Bar
My friend Roy drinks in a bar called No Name Bar on the dark side of Pattaya. On the light side of Pattaya was Stupid Bar which I mention in “Great Tits I’ve Known (And Other Species)”. I prefer to drink in bars with fabulous names like Champagne in L. K. Metro and I want to write about an agogo dancer in Champagne as quickly as possible and get it off my tittish chest.
Hot The Agogo Dancer
I noticed her some weeks ago and got her name and age. For the sake of this story let’s refer to her as Hot and her age as 24. She is in fact 24, and though cold I did think her hot…until I bought her a drink and was treated to her cold shoulder for 25 minutes. It was all a bit embarrassing but I jump the gun.
I noticed her some weeks back because she is as slim as a young whitewood treelet, danced in a black bikini top but had white hot pants that showed a desirable bottom of unusual lustery. She also sported one of those curvy backs that are as attractive as a cool smoothie in an air-conditioned bar while outside roars a hot and humid Thai day. So far so good. However, she really grabbed my attention when coming off stage one night, a punter dared her to strip for his bar-fine and a few drinks. She immediately stripped, there was a small uproar around her, and I then noticed her running for the loo where she got dressed again. As she streaked through, I saw that admirable bottom moving naked and lithe. She wasn’t disappointing.
Bottom Grabber And Ladydrink Disaster
Thereafter, I would occasionally reach up and push that bottom a bit and she just smiled. You can maybe imagine my surprise then when, after buying her her one and only ladydrink from me, I found it next to impossible to talk to her.
First off, I noticed her not understanding my Thai.
Second off, I noticed her not wanting to turn towards me.
Third off, I noticed her finding the drunken antics of her third cousin, a server, hilarious, when they were pathetic.
Fourth off, I knew she was sorely irritated by me.
It got too much and I told her she could go and chat to that third cousin of hers. She didn’t. I then told her I knew I was irritating her, and would she kindly bugger off. She didn’t. I told her not to treat me like an idiot because I wasn’t. She sulked a bit then turning she burst out with more or less this : That I was upsetting her, that she was a poor working-girl, that I wasn’t taking her predicament seriously, and that I was probably making fun of her. I parried by saying the pay was good, she wasn’t a child, she had no children, and she was probably rich. "No," she told me. "Big family?" I asked. She nodded. "So work better." This hurt her. I said the girls usually have a lot of money. She couldn’t smile but she said two words that sort of stopped me in my tracks. “Pen nee.” (Be in debt.) I am afraid I went further, adding supposed insult to injury, “I imagine you want me to help you.” She looked away, then said in anger, “Laeo ter khun.” (Up to you.) And that was about it.
I could summarise it all by saying a mistake led to an embarrassing few minutes in Champagne Agogo on L. K. Metro. There is, of course, much more that I could add.
I got out fast. I won’t buy that attitude-flawed beauty another sip. I won’t sponsor her and I won’t bar-fine her. After that formidable cold shoulder I DO NOT want to get up close to a formidable cold buttock! However, that’s me. As for her she let me have it in the face, neck, groin, and even more upsettingly in the aging brain-box which happens to house the potent thought-prick-stimulants helped along, and up, by the aging and still agoing heart pumpaloid.
In Debt / Pen Nee
The banks help the families out and the families can’t pay off the bank-loans which thereafter become endless debt. It doesn’t matter that an agogo dancer makes 15,000 or 25,000 baht in a month (sometimes much more). It doesn’t matter that a condescending client like me (she thought that) patronises and buys and prattles and prates. It doesn’t matter there is no parasitic Thai boyfriend or unparasitic but needy children in tow. Pen nee is formidable and tells a story many of these girls drag around with them but hide from us and from just about everybody else, I suppose (but could well be wrong here). They or their nearest and dearest are in debt. “One penny credit, happiness. One penny debt, misery.”* Given Dickens is not always a success in his world, I doubt the magnanimous Mr. Micawber does any better over here.
Yes, one million baht in credit, happiness. One million baht in debt, misery.
Why was I so unsympathetic? I’ve lived in Pattaya 10 years, and that’s a long time. My long-time Thai partner is in debt. If I really want to get my goolies done in, I’ll just start to like and help another debtor in Pattaya’s debtors’ prison. And on that unhappy note I’ll toast to these problems with a glass of purple bubbly.
*Mr Micawber's famous, and oft-quoted, recipe for happiness: "Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen [pounds] nineteen [shillings] and six [pence], result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds nought and six, result misery."