This is a piece from my upcoming book titled "From Darkness To Light", which is a collection of poems and short stories that reflect on my time of living in the dark, lost in addiction, and then being found by the light and discovering a better way to live.
I thought I knew what love was when I met you. Your hands were different from the rest. They were rough and rugged, but yet always so gentle to the touch. You used to trace my lips with your fingertip before leaning in to kiss me. You used to place your hands on each side of my face and and just hold it while you gazed into my eyes. You used to twirl my hair through your fingers while we laid together talking about our future. If I was upset, you were always quick to scoop me up with your hands and just hold me in your lap while I cried. You would always wrap your arms around me and in that very moment I felt safe. I knew somehow, everything would be ok. Your hands became my safe place. Just feeling your touch made everything better, until it became destructive. Your hands caused me some of the worse pain I've ever encountered. What once softly caressed my face, now left black eyes with every blow. What once traced my lips, now left them busted and bleeding. What once held me so close, now threw me across rooms. What once gently twirled my hair, now dragged me across the floor by it, ripping it out by handfuls. What once was my safe place, was now my dungeon of torture. In the beginning, your hands built me up as a woman and made me stronger. You gave me confidence by showing me you were always there to be my protector. You became my destruction. You tore me down until I became a total devastation. I no longer even knew who I was after you were through with me. I couldn't even recognize myself anymore. You became my Hell and for that I want to thank you. I would've never found Heaven had I not experienced you. I would've never found the real me had you not completely destroyed me. Its taken years, but today I'm rebuilt differently with much more reinforcement on the inside. My love and trust lies in the Almighty hands now. Looking back, I see that your hands were my blessing in disguise.