Sitting Comfortably with Uncertainty By Debra Roinestad Fear, uncertainty, and discomfort are your compasses toward growth. —Celestine Chua I don’t consider myself an expert on uncertainty but I’m a survivor of it. I s...
Sitting Comfortably with Uncertainty
By Debra Roinestad
Fear, uncertainty, and discomfort are your compasses toward growth.
I don’t consider myself an expert on uncertainty but I’m a survivor of it. I suffered a near life ending, double lung clot back in 2005. After my near-death experience, I felt extremely lucky to be alive, but there were many challenges. I had to redefine myself—nothing that I once knew and believed before my near-death experience existed. I lost my career and education in the field of psychology and my energy plummeted. I realized I had to help myself first and leave my education behind. The identity I once knew and became comfortable with was gone. I learned about false friends and how to redefine my boundaries. Friends I once knew in graduate school disappeared simply because I had nothing to offer them. Once these so called friends found out what happened to me, they quickly retreated. I also learned that my own dysfunctional family didn’t care whether I was alive or dead. It felt as if I was living my own funeral except that I was completely alive.
I was definitely learning lessons in humility, facing fear, learning truth, and getting comfortable with the unknown. My body was inflamed, weak, and achy with sharp pain. At night I was afraid to fall asleep, because the feeling of drifting off to sleep felt as if death was nearby again. My life stayed in suspended animation as I sat and look out the window watching people hurry along with a purpose and having someplace to go. This situation challenged me and tested my soul to find a new direction and meaning in my life. After two years my clots slowly resolved, and my energy began to return. I began to understand the art of sitting comfortably with uncertainty. During this difficult time of transformation, tree lessons dawned on me.
1) Rethinking Identity- It’s self-limiting to identify yourself as a label, title, or degree. Of course it’s nice to be proud of your accomplishments but we are so much more than just that. No matter how important we think we are, in our job, school, club, we are always replaceable. We are dimensional beings with higher souls searching for many ways to learn and heal our inner spirit. It’s not what we do; it’s who we are. We are more than these labels; we are an entire sum of our existence.
2) Capture Joy- It’s extremely important to capture moments of happiness, as if someone handed you a camera. Be sure to photograph moments in your mind. It’s an important resource to use in our daily lives. We feed our souls with the correct emotions (frequency) then we become that product. We create and define ourselves. Our souls need to understand that happiness exist through pain and suffering.
3) Understanding Stillness- Life is not always a race against the clock. Our enjoyment of life was never designed that way. The clock robs us of precious moments that we may have missed along the way. Through stillness we can examine our thoughts of value and let go of any resentment from the past. The world will begin to look very different with opened eyes.
Debra Roinestad, author of Protected by the Light: A Spiritual Memoir