I was in a chat room defining rules and setting up guides for the moderators to follow in the rooms I was in charge of. I didn't realize that doing what I loved doing would lead to many " I Love You's " some spoken and ...
I was in a chat room defining rules and setting up guides for the moderators to follow in the rooms I was in charge of. I didn't realize that doing what I loved doing would lead to many " I Love You's " some spoken and some not.
I got a follow on twitter where I read her bio and it reminded me of the story. Said she was a part time nymphomaniac. My first thought was not to follow. I decided to scroll down through some of her posts to see what she was posting. Seemed tame enough that it would not offend others following. I clicked follow. Said thanks for the follow.
I remembered this one who I made head moderator in the chat rooms. I was like if you follow my simple basic rules and never break them, the chat rooms will always be full. You won't have to go searching every day for a place to chat and you will make many new friends from all around the world. She listened and learned but did not always understand my rules. She would break the rules a lot when I was not on. It was chat. I just needed to keep the abuse out of the rooms with no threatening or violent type behavior that could lead to a possible suicide because of the bullying type behavior many express.
I loved the chat because of several reasons. I could listen to music as I chatted. I could also go live on online radio and pipe that through into many chat rooms through a simple script. It was a place where I could do comedy and bounce stories off others to see what was fun or interesting. Just as I inspired them. They also inspired me. Always had to remember that behind each avatar was a real person with a heart. Treat that heart as I would want them to treat my heart back. Rules where kind of non sense. But it kept a kind of sense of order in all the chaos. The only rule I walked by was to keep the stories interesting. If I kept them entertained with stories of interest. They wouldn't drift into the bad stories of hate and arguments. They say idle hands tend to do bad things because they are bored.
In chat rooms they tend to make teasing and flirting a big part of the conversation. I never considered that foreplay before. Was just another story. I used many approaches in entertaining when on. It was always fun for me to chat with others and always be meeting new people. We became friends for brief moments in time. Sometimes more than just brief moments.
It's when I began to realize the power of dreams. Dreams for many is something you should probably always stay away from when chatting with others. It's so hard to avoid. Not intentional when you drift into that zone by stories of playfulness just as part of every day conversation. It's that length of time you spend with others online that can be a dangerous zone where someone might say " I Love You "... and really mean it.
One person liked the stories really well of the sexual nature. I guess she could of been considered a full time nymphomaniac. She was one of my mods. I spent a great deal of time when I came on trying to fix problems she couldn't handle. She kept breaking the rules I set for all to follow. That lead to chaos. They lost respect for her and would begin to argue with her. Many times bringing her to tears. The room that never slept. They would keep my rooms full 24/7. I was like don't any of you believe in sleep?
I told her I never break my rules and the reasons why. No one is perfect. I made a mistake. I broke a rule. I would never chat in private or tell stories that where not spoken in public rooms where all could hear. She said she could handle it. I was like no you can't. Not like picking up a book and reading it or slipping in a movie and watching it. This is a real conversation. I agreed to write the story of erotica knowing it was a bad idea. Took me 3 months to get her to a point after that where she realized I was just writing a story as she asked. No personal attachment. I was that book or movie. I took her to the inner core of her dreams and through long coversation made that dream of hers come alive as if she where sleeping and dreaming.
When she said... " I Love You "...... I was like no you don't. What you love is the dream I wrote which is your dream. As you listened each and every day I came in as many came. You felt the energy of the playfulness in your mind. Even though it was real conversation most of us knew it was just flirting. A line we would never cross. Reason we don't do private conversations. When I took it private as you said you could hand it. You couldn't. You imagined all that you saw to this point as being real and as being me. Thats what you fell in love with. If we where to meet in real you may not like me at all. I'm not that story. She was like it is you. You just don't see that yet. I was like yes I do. I know in real I'm nothing like the image you have created in your mind. You have me in the clouds with angels who can perform miracles. If I touch you, you would scream. As each day rolls by you would find I'm not that dream. I'm just a very creative writer.
In the end she tried to convince she believed me. I knew she didn't. But she seemed ok and was moving on with her life. She found someone closer to her dream and more compatible. I felt more comfortble knowing she had done that. She was trying. Her life had been full of abuse. She was just looking for a kind, gentle soul to erase all those nightmares away. I was just the escape for her. I told her to get professional help. Talk about it. Get the anger out. Let it go and try to find that dream. Make a list of what she really wanted. Like many things I knew she would have to settle. Dreams hardly ever come true. I still worry to this day. She still looks for that character I created to come on in chat. I had to kill it off so they could all move on. Hopefully I did the right thing. We never know. All we can do is use our best judgement and hope it is coming from some higher spiritual power. When people come into ours lives, its for a reason. When they leave the lesson has been learned.