Ripped Flowers

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She needed a moment to relax and forget all the pain she went through all her life,she needed to see the sunrise to feel a little bit hope but it was late night and she couldn't sleep. She felt so lonely ,despite everyone who supported and loved her...

She needed a moment to relax and forget all the pain she went through all her life,she needed to see the sunrise to feel a little bit hope but it was late night and she couldn't sleep.
She felt so lonely ,despite everyone who supported and loved her.
She lost her faith in everything.
She needed rain to wash her inner pain away.
She didn't believe in anything.She didn't have a saver because she was an unbeliever,so she had to save herself.
She didn't know how to get out from the cage :her head.
She needed to see something or meet someone that would make her believe life was worth it and she was worth it.
She never was a complicated person ,she was just unlucky.So she never got to the point that she felt complete.Because she never wanted to live the life easy way,she wanted it complicated,that was her curse.
Whenever she founded a flower she ripped it off.When it was raining she stood under it and got sick.She didn't put sugar in her coffee.She loved sad songs.She got high sometimes and then she felt she was alive.
She was the strongest one ,yet also the weakest in another way.Because she was stronger than anyone else but she was her own enemy.
She broke her own heart because she liked to see it bleeding.
She didn't know how to write a story with a beginning and an ending.She only knew to write about situations ,situations without certain beginnings and endings,like life,because she believed even though every life began with birth,people were born into situations so there was never a certain beginning,and as long as you were alive you never have a certain ending,but death was a certain ending maybe.
She was there.
She was alive.
She was aware of it,she felt it in her bones.
She also loved to go through this pain because it was the only way she could feel alive,she was like an existential philosopher.The pain made her feel alive ,it was a way to feel her own existence.
She was the saddest person with a smile on her face because she liked how her smile was making other people smile.
She also knew she was gonna suffer and get to a point where she wouldn't be able to suffer anymore.
So she was gonna born again and be happy,feel the joy and pleasure and happiness,all those things that"shiney happy people" had.
She knew because she did it many times before.She hit the bottom too many times and got to the top.
She knew,everything would be alright.
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