I thought I was doing so well: I managed to put him at the back of my mind. But like a Bunsen burner on a light flame it would suddenly erupt with the power of forbidden love once I heard his name and spew out emotions that I had no way of stopping.
Did he remember that night...that autumn night that I remembered so well...too well...? Was that the reason for his questioning? Did he go to bed at night wishing I was there? I prayed he did.
The chemistry was too strong: we knew we couldn't avoid temptation if temptation arose. And it did, one October night.
"I'll walk you home... not keen on you walking home alone."
Walking ahead of me, he held the door like a true gentleman. Suddenly the stars appeared to sparkle with more intensity as we walked into the night. We held hands while walking in the park: a shower of fallen golden leaves guided our way. The sweet scent of dew ignited my senses. We didn't really talk: we walked hand in hand. Suddenly he took me in his arms and kissed me. It was a kiss with urgency and abandonment. I gave in to its sweet surrender, which would send shivers down my spine. I had dreamt of this for years, from the very first time when I saw him walk up our street with his hands in his pockets.
"If only you weren't married. Go on. You had better get home." I wanted to run after him. I would have gone to the end of the earth for him if he asked me too.
I dreamt that night: I dreamt he was standing at the other end of an ocean. He was calling me to cross its depths, to unite us for all eternity: A buoy bouncing on its waters stood in my way. I couldn't reach him.Thrashing in its ferocious waves, I fought with all my strength to get to the other side, only I was being swept further away. He was waving at me...suddenly I couldn't see him any more. I woke in a panic. A sob of despair escaped from deep within...tears dampened my cheeks.