"I'm not happy and bubbly. I'm dark and cloudy." -MG https://clinpsychsite.wordpress.com/2016/02/22/manic-depression-disorder-as-illustrated-by-greys-anatomy/
You may look “normal”,
but you have some baggage.
Okay, more than a little…
& sometimes, you wish you COULD just be the average girl.
Not the girl with bipolar disorder or OCPD or OCD
or what appears to be practically the entire DSM-5
all at once. Brilliant. Grand. Simply splendid.
I’m sure THAT is what the boys are lookin’ for these days… ;)
Sometimes, hearing “it’ll get better” or other inspirational, empty sayings
is annoying and feels as if it is minimizing the pain.
It is just HARD sometimes…
Depression is not something made up in my head.
Don’t act like I just need to “get over it”…
You wouldn’t tell someone with a PHYSICAL illness just to “get over it”.
Like, “Cancer? Really? Oh, get over it!” I don’t think so!
So, stop, PLEASE.
I’m not in the mood.
Some days, depression is overwhelming.
You feel like you cannot move.
Why should you?
What good is it to even get up?
What good are YOU?
Some people will never understand
how much pain is hidden,
how much struggle there may lie behind a pretty smile.
Mental illness is a demanding monster
that wants to consume your life:
your ability to think,
your ability to move,
your ability to move ON…
It is NOT made up.
It is REAL
& it is TERRIFYING.
Sometimes, you feel so alone.
So very, VERY alone…
that it can feel hard to breathe.
Luckily, I am not alone…
I have an incredibly helpful support network,
who loves me unconditionally…
AND I LOVE YOU. :)
Going to the “doctor” can be extremely discouraging.
Doctor after doctor disagreeing on:
best treatment approaches…
Like, doctors, get it together, ‘mkay?
You’ll make mistakes.
You’ll have regrets.
You’ll likely hurt someone
& it is likely that they may hurt you too.
That is in the PAST.
Learn to let go.
Sometimes, people can stay in your heart
but cannot stay in your life.
Learn to distinguish between those who love who they THINK you are
& those who love you for who you REALLY are.
That can make all the difference.
Don’t let mental illness, mania, depression or whichever aspect you are dealing with,
your school life,
your ENTIRE life.
You’ve got this.
You will be treated differently
& called names…
you are UNSTOPPABLE.
SOME days I want to talk about it
& SOME I DON’T.
Please respect that…
unless I’m drowning in self-pity.
That’s not okay. Ha.
Needing help doesn’t make you weak.
Seeking out help can be the hardest part.
Doing so takes strength
AND makes you a stronger person still.
PREACH IT, CRISTINA. PREACHHH.