Fancy Cursing

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A small blog piece I wrote about the helpfulness of cursing while stressed. (No actual curse words are in the piece.)

If I had to put a word count on the number of curse words that have flown out of my mouth this week, it’s probably in the hundreds…like, high hundreds.  I’m a walking, talking, giant WTF right now.  But before you get too appalled, I assure you, I haven’t dropped any in front of the kiddos.  Well, not too many.  And not any of the really bad ones.

If I could make a guess, no matter how fantastical or impossible the idea, I’d say I have a mischievous little pixie hovering over my head, dropping little bombs of “whoops” on me.  It started out innocent enough, even earning chuckles at myself for the silly little things I’m doing, but we’ve reached THIS IS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE CUT THIS CRAP OUT point. 

Did you know I’ve been using the dryer wrong since we bought it 6 months ago?  I just found that out today.  Yep.  Me…the mom…the one who is supposed to be responsible for the laundry of this household….has not been able to figure out until today why the clothes are always still damp after I’ve dried them 3 times.  Please do not ask me what we’ve been doing if the clothes are still damp after 3 cycles.  I will not answer you.

I also discovered that I really have no place messing with iTunes or syncing phones with it or even backing stuff up.  I tried to retrieve my daughter’s pictures we’d backed up from her old phone and put them on her new one, only to end up wiping everything off her new phone.  We said goodbye to the pictures of the NASA field trip, and I’m still mourning their loss.  She was so proud of them but took the news really well.  Better than me. *Sigh*

I dropped a mixing bowl on my toe, cut my arm on the corner of the microwave, & knocked a picture and the soap dispenser from their respective places on the wall and kitchen counter— all within the space of ten minutes.  That was Monday.  Tuesday, I started dinner and realized I hadn’t bought the soup I needed for the sauce and then turned around and blindly dumped a package of chicken fried rice into the pot of boiling water instead of Spanish rice.  So, we had Mexican/Chinese night.  L then asked for chicken nuggets, which I agreed to make for her, but I forgot about them after I put them in the oven and it was 45 minutes later when I remembered. 

Studies have shown that when enduring something painful or difficult, cursing helps relieve the discomfort.  Which I proved when the mixing bowl landed on my toe and I screamed various offensive, and somewhat wicked, words at the top of my lungs.  It’s satisfying and somehow smooths my ruffled feathers.

I went to my therapy session yesterday afternoon.  She and I have talked in the past about how good it can feel to just let loose with the swearing.  It’s therapeutic.  I left her office clutching a handful of swear coloring sheets that are the BEST THING EVER!  Some of the most heinous curse words I know, and even one I’d never heard of, in a fancy font with flowers, puppy dogs, elephants, and panda bears surrounding them.  All for my coloring pleasure.  For those that don’t know, I love coloring and take it very seriously.  I take my time, using just the right color combinations, pressure, and strokes.  When I’m done with a picture that I really love, I hang on to it forever.  Which is why I’m working patiently on my…Warning: Look Away If Easily Offended…m*****f***** word, complete with baby elephants and pretty flowers.  And, yes, I will frame it when it’s done.

Being a mom is hard. Being a stay-at-home mom is hard. Being an adult, no matter what you do or what your circumstances are, is hard. Life is just hard, yall. So, sometimes you gotta do, or say, things that make the day a little more bearable.  Of course, it should go without saying, that whatever you say or do should never hurt someone else. And when you see another person having a difficult day and letting loose with the cursing, just remember they may have a little "whoops" pixie over their head that day. And then you can smile and nod in understanding while passing them a cursing coloring sheet. 

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